Friday, December 21, 2012

Christmas at our house 2012

Christmas at our House :)

   the house is decorated, the tree is lit. The decorations are everywhere inside and out. :)  The Children are excited, boy is that an understatement :) There is MAGIC in the air ....

 The NEW stockings are ready and made to be hung :) *Christmas eve gifts *












The kids have new outfits,  From GrandMax for our special day and for church :) They look so cute :)

 Christmas Caroling done....  Just need to walk the town lights ;)

Virginia, Ryan and Grandbaby bump here :)

Now its time to celebrate  this special time of year! :) With the real meaning of Christ in our lives... all the neat family traditions we do...  So much excitement from everyone. We love to have such family fun! :)  Merry Christmas everyone.. Happy New Year too :) I am so thankful for my family! :) Forever we will always be! :) I love that we keep growing :)

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Adoption... the challenges...

  Lately life has been a challenge in our home. Three particular little lives...  These three special little ones have blessed us in so many ways... they have also challenged us and at times brought me to my knees looking for answers on what to do or how to help them understand... which lead to me being the one needing to understand.
 My parenting techniques for my first five bio children are not going to work for these three little ones. They just won't. They have too many things to heal from... to many things I still don't even know about, I think they too don't even understand.
 They are in these bodies of ages 4, 5 and 6 but emotionally they are really 1, 2 and 3.   NO one really understands what I am talking about without living it or being a parent of a child who has been neglected and abused.
 Things like their sensory systems to their actual body functions have been affected. They have not been cuddled, loved and talked to with such joy that a mother with a new born child would do. I am realizing so many things lately. I see so many things I must do to help them. One being I need to cuddle them. I need to talk to them kindly and with a smiling face... I need to spend real quality time loving them, nurturing, touching their faces, talking about them in a great positive and affectionate way. 
When you think about an infant... they never hear no.... if the infant cries, I would hold them, love them, cuddle them, take care of them, sing to them, feed them, sleep with them. I would say YES for the first year easily... because this little baby would need me and have no way to take care of itself. I need to think of my three little ones in this light..... THEY NEED ME TO SAY YES! They need to learn trust and love. They need all that which they did not get from ANYONE. *heart breaking*
I need to empower my children and connect with them in ways I would if I had them from infantancy.

For me... this means several things... I will be honest... there will be times I will be tired and I will want to do OTHER THINGS that I would normally be doing with children of the ages that these are...but  I need to put everything aside and do just what I said up above. 

I am becoming creative as a parent on how to help them...  Its a challenge but now that I am finding answers I am so excited!
So I am going to make a tool box of life.... it will help me teach them what tool they need to use or what they should of used with situations that they are living out each day. :)  I am super excited about this.

I have gone to bed many nights feeling so lost... drained, wiped emotionally and physically and I have woken up several times since these children have come home, to be ours for forever, feeling hopeful and uplifted... able to come up with new ideas or have been led to them.:) I am so thankful for that! :) Thankful I have Heavenly Father in my life guiding me.

SO I am learning that if my children are emotionally younger than their physical ages, then I can fill in those gaps...  I can help them heal... I am so excited to know there is a way to help I just had to realize where to start :)

   I love my children. All of them. I am thankful for them all. They keep me going... keep me searching and doing things I would most likely never done. It is good :) I am learning so much. I just wanted to share my joy that I am finding solutions to hard situations ... I have faith that these children are going to heal and grow in love :)

Friday, December 7, 2012

The Good, the Bad and the change of attitude....

  I would like to share something very personal that happened this week in our family. Last Tuesday one of my teens came up to me and expressed that they didn't want to be home much. That there was just too much noise from the little children. *crying, tattling and loud playing*  I just listened, I was caught off guard because I have always felt that our home was a place everyone in our family wanted to be and that it was a place where they wanted to bring their friends too. I have worked hard, as a mother, to make sure that our home was our safe haven. So when my teen told me this, my heart sank. It hurt. I had no idea how to even respond.  My husband and I ended up going to the temple that night, which was so needed for me because I was filled with all this upset now. While in the temple, I prayed A LOT! I asked Heavenly Father to help me know how to fix this and what to do. I explained how I want my children to want to be in our home and to feel good in our home. I cried a little too. I felt some comfort while there, even though at that moment I didn't have any answers. But I knew that I would soon have answers because Heavenly Father has always answered my prayers and helped me.  That night I came home and went straight to the computer. I started to look up talks and stories on on the topic about love at home. I read some scriptures, said my prayers and went to bed. The next day, before I did anything I said my morning prayer and asked again for Heavenly Father to please help me figure out a solution to the problem at hand. I read some scriptures which led me to feeling more peace and comfort. That led me to answers :) 
Here are some of the scriptures I read... which led to my answers :)
Alma 13:20 "Behold, the scriptures are before you: if ye will wrest them it shall be to your own destruction."    With that first verse I explained to my children to read daily and why.... When I saw that they were using their time unwisely, I asked if they had read their scriptures for the day. That was a good thing to share with them. They did stop whatever thing they were doing, that was just a waist of their time, and would then go read their scriptures :)
  Alma 13: 27-29
27 And now, my brethren, I wish from the inmost part of my heart, yea, with great anxiety even unto pain, that ye would hearken unto my words, and cast off your sins, and not procrastinate the day of your repentance;

28 But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord,...

and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually, that ye may not be tempted above that which ye can bear, and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, becoming humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering;
29 Having faith on the Lord; having a hope that ye shall receive eternal life; having the love of God always in your hearts, that ye may be lifted up at the last day and enter into his rest.
Alma 34:21-27
21 aCry unto him in your houses, yea, over all your household, both morning, mid-day, and evening.
22 Yea, cry unto him against the power of your aenemies.
23 Yea, acry unto him against the bdevil, who is an enemy to all crighteousness.
24 Cry unto him over the crops of your fields, that ye may prosper in them.
25 Cry over the flocks of your fields, that they may increase.
26 But this is not all; ye must apour out your souls in your bclosets, and your secret places, and in your wilderness.
27 Yea, and when you do not cry unto the Lord, let your ahearts be bfull, drawn out in prayer unto him continually for your cwelfare, and also for the welfare of dthose who are around you.
 I read a lot more and I read more talks ... one on..... Our Homes Must Be a Place of Refuge

"In a world of turmoil and uncertainty, it is more important than ever to make our families the center of our lives and the top of our priorities. . . .

"We need to make our homes a place of refuge from the storm, which is increasing in intensity all about us. Even if the smallest openings are left unattended, negative influences can penetrate the very walls of our homes."

L. Tom Perry, "The Importance of the Family," Ensign, May 2003, 40
All these things with more prayer... led me to realize, I am doing all that I can to help the family but it was the MEMBERS of the family that needed to do more on their part. They needed to have a change of attitude or heart. They needed to realize this is our family. This is what it is and if its not ok to them then THEY need to do more to make it better.
So that day when my teen got home, I had a talk with them. I explain how I felt when I was told that it was not where they wanted to be. I explained how I am doing all that I can and that it was on their shoulders to change their attitude. I explained that these little children are just that.... LITTLE and that once, not so long ago, they too did the exact thing and acted the exact way. 
But I am thankful for the honesty in my home. That my children feel that they can tell me such things, even if does hurt me. Because I can always try harder and make it better. So that is what I have been working on, with the LORD BY MY SIDE guiding me and helping me, inspiring me.
So every night I am sharing a spiritual story to keep my children focused and thinking about how they can contribute to our family becoming stronger and more loving. :) So far these are the two stories I have shared :)
 HIDDEN WEDGES.... here is what I told them and then we talked about how we need for forgive others or fix what we might of done to make the wedges disappear and become a stronger family..... the story :
Elder Spencer W. Kimball gave a memorable address. He quoted an account written by Samuel T. Whitman entitled “Forgotten Wedges.” Today I, too, have chos
en to quote from Samuel T. Whitman, followed by examples from my own life.

Whitman wrote: “The ice storm [that winter] wasn’t generally destructive. True, a few wires came down, and there was a sudden jump in accidents along the highway. … Normally, the big walnut tree could easily have borne the weight that formed on its spreading limbs. It was the iron wedge in its heart that caused the damage.

“The story of the iron wedge began years ago when the white-haired farmer [who now inhabited the property on which it stood] was a lad on his father’s homestead. The sawmill had then only recently been moved from the valley, and the settlers were still finding tools and odd pieces of equipment scattered about. …

“On this particular day, it was a faller’s wedge—wide, flat, and heavy, a foot or more long, and splayed from mighty poundings [—which the lad found] … in the south pasture. [A faller’s wedge, used to help fell a tree, is inserted in a cut made by a saw and then struck with a sledge hammer to widen the cut.] … Because he was already late for dinner, the lad laid the wedge … between the limbs of the young walnut tree his father had planted near the front gate. He would take the wedge to the shed right after dinner, or sometime when he was going that way.

“He truly meant to, but he never did. [The wedge] was there between the limbs, a little tight, when he attained his manhood. It was there, now firmly gripped, when he married and took over his father’s farm. It was half grown over on the day the threshing crew ate dinner under the tree. … Grown in and healed over, the wedge was still in the tree the winter the ice storm came.

“In the chill silence of that wintry night … one of the three major limbs split away from the trunk and crashed to the ground. This so unbalanced the remainder of the top that it, too, split apart and went down. When the storm was over, not a twig of the once-proud tree remained.

“Early the next morning, the farmer went out to mourn his loss. …

“Then, his eyes caught sight of something in the splintered ruin. ‘The wedge,’ he muttered reproachfully. ‘The wedge I found in the south pasture.’ A glance told him why the tree had fallen. Growing, edge-up in the trunk, the wedge had prevented the limb fibers from knitting together as they should.”1

My dear brothers and sisters, there are hidden wedges in the lives of many whom we know—yes, perhaps in our own families
Tonight I will share this story.......Beautiful are the words of the Savior as He was about to die upon the cruel cross. Said He, “Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.”2

There are some who have difficulty forgiving themselves and who dwell on all of their perceived shortcomings. I quite like the account of a religious leader who went to the side of a woman who lay dying...

, attempting to comfort her—but to no avail. “I am lost,” she said. “I’ve ruined my life and every life around me. There is no hope for me.”

The man noticed a framed picture of a lovely girl on the dresser. “Who is this?” he asked.

The woman brightened. “She is my daughter, the one beautiful thing in my life.”

“And would you help her if she were in trouble or had made a mistake? Would you forgive her? Would you still love her?”

“Of course I would!” cried the woman. “I would do anything for her. Why do you ask such a question?”

“Because I want you to know,” said the man, “that figuratively speaking, Heavenly Father has a picture of you on His dresser. He loves you and will help you. Call upon Him.”

A hidden wedge to her happiness had been removed.

In a day of danger or a time of trial, such knowledge, such hope, such understanding will bring comfort to the troubled mind and grieving heart. The entire message of the New Testament breathes a spirit of awakening to the human soul. Shadows of despair are dispelled by rays of hope, sorrow yields to joy, and the feeling of being lost in the crowd of life vanishes with the certain knowledge that our Heavenly Father is mindful of each of us.
I Also shared a video... which I loved....

Being a Mother is a job I take seriously. Its the only thing I feel I was meant to do in this life and I must continue and strive to do my best. I will, because it does bring me great joy and these people that I am blessed with to love and teach,  they are my world, so very important to me and if I were to let them down by not doing my part, the heart ache I would feel for eternity would be greater than anything else imaginable. :) I am thankful for this calling in life, MOTHER ... :)  I am even more thankful that I am able to do it with a wonderful husband and Father. :) Led by an amazing Heavenly Father, guided by the Holy Ghost! :)

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Driving in Fog

Have you ever driven in fog? Really bad fog where you almost can't see the line on the road ahead of you? I have.... and lately there has been a lot of fog to drive in. I don't like the fog. It scares me. I am always thankful for a person in front of me to follow or street lights that shine enough to show me exactly where I am. I am also thankful for familiar roads.  If you know your roads then its not as bad as venturing out on a street you have never driven on before.

I was thinking about the fog this morning. How its like the WORLD and US :)   So many people are going through life without any direction or any principle to follow. They are blindly living day to day without even knowing why they are here and where they are going.  ...Some people when driving, that can see the line, do OK but when venturing on other roads they don't know, they get a little lost or end up taking a longer route than planned. For the most part people seem to be wondering in the fog.  Directionless and full of questions as to where they are or heading.

I started to think about my life.... how blessed I am to be able to see the light and through the fog of the world :)  I am thankful for the Book of Mormon, the Bible and the gospel. Those things have kept me on the right road, guided me when I ventured onto new roads and helped me to always see the light in my darkest hours.  I have never truly been lost because of it. I know who I am and why I am here. I know I have a great purpose in life and I know where I want to end up :)   I KNOW, I don't just think or feel it. I KNOW IT :) Its a great thing to KNOW something. To have it burn within you and to have that desire to share it with others.

Heavenly Father loves each of us so much. He knows US individually. He hears our prayers and he has never left us alone, even though we may feel like he has. I have found that when I have felt alone or far away from my Heavenly Father it wasn't his fault, it was mine. That I wasn't doing my part in keeping in contact with him.  Maybe I hadn't read my scriptures in a while, missed church,  didn't pray a heartfelt prayer and took the time to listen.  He is always there for us but its up to us to receive him and allow him in our lives.

This morning I worried about my daughter getting to school safely. She rides with friends and the school is a ways out from our house. So I found my peace and comfort by going in and having a prayer with her before she left for school. I asked for her to be safe and to be brought back to me safely. I found immediate comfort and peace in doing that. Heavenly Father blessed me with that as well, for I received a text saying she arrived safely. Had I not prayed this morning with her, she still might of made it safely but I would of spent my time worrying and feeling uneasy.

I just wanted to share a moment of my thoughts this morning as I drove my children to school in the fog and write down my gratitude for what I know to be true and what has blessed my life. I hope you all have a wonderful day! :)

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Love Thy Neighbor

             I have several things on my mind. It started a few days ago when I was looking up the Boise Temple Celebration on line to see what others had posted from their video taping. I came to one that said, "Boise Temple Re dedication" I had no thought that it would be from someone who was not LDS. I ended up fast forwarding through the video surprised that so many that do not belong to my church would go so far out of their way to do something like this.  I know we have our "HATERS" out there, but I truly do not understand why they feel the need to bash other faiths that are not of their own. Especially when they have no clue what they are talking about.  My first question would be, "HAVE YOU READ THE BOOK OF MORMON?"  and they even say they have not in the video.
 Why do people feel the need to do such things? We don't. We believe in letting others worship how and what they may. We especially do not plan to go try and put a damper on their celebrations. But so many feel the need to constantly put us under attack and protest what we each have the right to choose for ourselves.  I am thankful for AGENCY! I choose this FAITH!  my list is endless as to why but I will be happy to share them with anyone who asks.  I know this church is true with all that I am.  THE GOSPEL IS TRUE. I go for the gospel, what it teaches me, which is everything that JESUS taught while he was on this earth.     I just wondered if these "PROTESTERS" ever realized that we don't do what they do. We don't go and say that their Jehovah witness/catholic/Jewish... a zillion other faiths out there ... etc are wrong or badger them as to why.  How is putting someone on the defense working with the spirit?
That is why we, "THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS" won't go into a debate with you over why we KNOW our faith is true and why WE FOLLOW it. Because the second someone has to debate about it or the discussion gets heated, the spirit of the LORD has left. 
Growing up, everyone knew I was from this faith. They knew it. I was like 1 out 400 in my community. They came to respect me for how I lived. I was asked so many questions. I was protected by my friends who smoked, drank and other conducts that I would not participate in.... if someone that didn't know me asked if I would like a cigarette, watch out. My friends almost jumped them for even thinking of asking me. I loved that! :)  Not that they would fight someone or anything but that they respected my decision, and it was a mutual respect! I didn't judge them or bash them for what they chose to do. Even today, when reconnecting with many of my friends *who are not of my faith* they remember me as "YOUR THAT MORMON GIRL"      
Another thing I wanted to touch on was Judgement.  I truly try to not judge others. To look for the good in everyone and to put myself  in their shoes so that I can see their perspective.  I truly love people for who they are. Why would I judge them? That is NOT my place.  I don't want that calling either! *not that there is one, in case you didn't know, that was me just saying I am glad Jesus has that job, he is way more qualified*  I am not perfect, I will be the first to admit that. I make mistakes daily. I try really hard not to, I do my best to choose right from wrong. I try to teach my children by example.  I try to testify what I feel and believe to be true to anyone I meet or who inquires.  I try to serve others as often as I can.  I do the best that I CAN do, but I am not perfect.
It saddens me to think that others judge me for trying to be Christ like.  It saddens me to see some people go JUDGY on others and almost force their opinions on others around them as if theirs is the only one that matters. *is that judging? by me saying that? Yes*  But how do you stop judgement?  I am not trying to contradict myself but there is a fine line between it all. You have to know when you are sharing your thoughts and standards with others and when you are preaching to the point of saying I AM THE ONLY ONE RIGHT HERE.   We are even taught that every faith has some truth to it. So therefore, every person does as well. *I believe this anyhow*
This Thanksgiving, I wish there was more Peace on this earth. That people would come together in spirit and with love... one towards another like Jesus taught, regardless of faith or race. I wish we could see each other as "Brothers and Sisters"  and could find the good in others. Focusing on the good in others instead of their flaws or faults.  I would love that. What a world we would live in if everyone did just those two things. People would truly be the neighbors to one another that Jesus asked us to be. People would be quick to forgive and less defensive. I, myself, would be a better person.  I look forward to this thought coming true, when Jesus Christ returns, we will all see each other in new light, A LOVING LIGHT, as he does with each of us.
I know who I am, I know where I came from, I know where I want to go and who I hope to become. I am thankful for this knowledge. I am thankful for the temple. I feel such great peace inside and I feel closer to my Heavenly Father. Its like that Mountain you think about climbing to say a prayer to be closer to God. For me, the temple gives me that. Are you, my brother/sister, not happy for me that I have found that in my life? Do you not want that for me? I want that for you. If you were to say that you found that in your life, regardless of your faith, I would be so happy for you!
Thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts. I hope they were not too displaced or hard to understand.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Love Of Christ....

 I love all my children ... even when they make mistakes and choose the wrong path.  I worry about them, I pray for them and I hope that they will choose the right. I, as a mother, would do anything for them to choose that right path, to be Christ like and to become all that they can be.

I am sure that Jesus Christ feels the exact same way about all of us. He died for us... he did all that he could so that we could be with him and our Heavenly Father again. I am sure he is upset when we are tempted to do wrong or do wrong. I am sure he feels the exact pain I feel, probably more so, when my children choose to not listen to me or obey. 

This world is full of so many temptations. People wanting to follow someone so badly... they are blinded from the truth and so desperate they follow blindly who ever SEEMS great to follow before them.  People want to be accepted and loved so badly that they do whatever it takes, even if that leads them down the wrong path in life, and how sad is that?  People want to fit in so badly that they are willing to go into debt to have what Janie next door does or what every tv commercial advertises.  Money, money, money ... it seems to make the world go round.... its a must to live and some live to have it.  People are making such poor choices today and its understandable with Satan tempting us at every corner.  From bad music, bad books, bad movies to bad media.  The list is endless on the bad.  From you need this to wanting it so bad that it takes over us.

I am watching my children make choices for themselves.  I am contemplating how I, as a mother, has handled some of these situations with my children. When I have reviewed my own actions, I have felt bad in my own decisions on what I have said or done... thought about what i should of said and done.  I am thankful for repentance... for the gift of forgiveness. Not just from my savior but from my children.   

I am thankful that I have someone to turn to and to ask ..."What do I do now to help them Lord?"  I keep trying and doing what I feel inspired to do...     I have so much work ahead of me. I have a son who is just naturally rebellious.  Nothing I have done yet has worked. I am searching for more creative parenting skills, in hope that something will click and he will naturally want within himself to listen to me. Knowing I just want to keep him safe, I want him happy and that I do it all because I love him.          Just like Jesus for us! :)

Sometimes, looking at the world ... its easy to focus on all the bad, but today I choose to focus on all the good.  I tell my children good always wins over evil. I have to believe that and incorporate that into all my thinking as well.

The Lord wants us to live a happy life. Full of love, health and peace. He wants us to be positive full of FAITH not fear.  This is my focusing thoughts of the day :)

Friday, November 2, 2012

It's my birthday.....

 All week I have been down, just thinking I am going to be 41 ... TODAY.  I went to bed sad just thinking about it. I said a sincere prayer last night that I could find joy and peace today,  which I woke up to just that. I had a happy heart.  I truly felt HAPPINESS inside my heart.  My daughter last night asked what she could make me for breakfast in bed. I told her not to worry. She has school and she has to get up so early every morning as it is. I also can't eat right away because of my skin condition, which I have to take a pill every day, wait a half hour and then eat.   She wanted to do that for me even though it meant getting up earlier than normal. That meant a lot to me. 

I woke up to a love letter on my mirror from my husband. He works so hard.  Long hours daily and is up and gone before everyone else and home almost before their bed time. He felt bad that he hadn't taken the day off or had time to get me a gift. *but in his defense, I told him I didn't really want one* I had spent enough money doing service projects that really made me happy, so that was enough.

 I have had a relaxing morning :)  Watching movies... WHICH I LOVE TO DO!!!! and spending time with Ellie. *the only child home from school still*  I went and got Kalene, Ellie and I lunch from Blimpie.. one of my favorite places to eat and it doesn't ever make me gain weight to eat ;)  Then I ran to Costco to get tonight's dinner.. SHRIMP cooked in Coconut oil and Salad :)  

I am excited to have a yummy family dinner and then off the movies we will go. A new movie called "Wreck-It Ralph" is playing :) The kids really want to see it and for us to go the movies is hard with so many of us. So we are doing it as a family to celebrate my birthday.  When we get home we will have my favorite ICE CREAM CAKE FROM DAIRY QUEEN! I have to have a very thin slice of it. I have lost 14 pounds and I don't want to gain any of it back. I am down a whole pant size and I want to be down even more before my first grand baby is born.

I have been working out at the YMCA and it feels so good to work out. I love swimming! The water is so freeing to me. I love the sound underneath... so peaceful to me... blocks out all the noise of the world. Its my time to meditate....

I have been thinking of all that has happened.... in my life and up to this point. How many blessings I have and how thankful I am. How my life has been blessed. I have been thinking of my future... what is in store... what I want to do.... where I want to be 10 years from now * if Christ doesn't come by then*  

I have evaluated my life a lot lately. Its difficult being a mother of small children, teen children and adult children. I am literally going in so many directions.  But at the same time, I love it. I am busy. I have the best of all worlds and stages in life that life has to offer! :)  My life is full! ;) how many people can say their life is full?  Or... how many people realize all their blessings and are grateful for them?

I am right where I want to be.... :) Literally! ;)   It doesn't get any better than this and if it does I am so excited! 

When I reach my goal weight I am going to go shopping and get a whole new look.  Classy and stylish. I have several friends who have amazing taste in clothing and style. They will be recruited! :)  I will be a Guinea pig :) SO EXCITING!  I can't wait to say I have lost 50 pounds... or I am 2 more pant sizes down :)   I will look so much better, feel better and I will look different :) Which is all good!

A new year is around the corner.  I wonder what it has in store for me, for my family, for my children and grandchildren to come :)   I hope to do more service and to continue to work towards being what the Lord wants of me.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Men who serve God....

 After I made the 32 thank yous to the school, *it is Sunday* I thought about five special men in our church that serve so many, selflessly. THE BISHOPRIC! This includes a bishop, 1st counselor, 2nd counselor, secretary and an executive secretary. All these men serve a ward of hundreds of people for FREE! So I asked my husband if he thought they would like one of my payday candy bar thank yous? He said that he thought they would love them. So they went with my husband this morning to church :) I hope they know how much we as a family and so many others in our ward appreciate them. They sacrifice a lot of their time and efforts for so many in need!  We are a blessed ward because of them!

p.s.    I belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  One of the many reasons why I love this church... is because every thing we do is without pay. Just us trying to be good people. Every teacher, every position offered to serve is done by a willing heart to serve the Lord. No money is involved :) 

32 Thank You's :)

    Well the last sunshine box made it. :) My friend called me and made me laugh. She said it took her 45 minutes to open the box! Then she was in awe that she saw popcorn box? She was kinda confused that I sent 24 packages of popcorn. LOL! Then she said it really made her smile when she opened it up and saw what was inside. :) I am glad she got it. They are about to be hit by some hurricane and I worried it wouldn't make it.  She said she had a bad day too, so once again... I believe angels helped to deliver the box when it was needed most :) That makes me feel so good.   I kinda got off the phone with her quick, she just kept thanking me and I kinda felt uncomfortable. I have realized I don't accept thank you's very well. I really enjoy giving but have a hard time hearing thank you back. I just wanted to do something special is all. :)  She was sweet to post this on her face book wall which was nice to read ... it did touch me but at the same time I felt like.... this is about YOU not me ;) and it felt like it got turned back on me... here is what was said... I want to remember the sweet comments. Names will be taken out for privacy
I'm truly luck to have the friends I have. My honey came home last night and walked thru the door with a package that had been sitting at my front door. I open it and it's a care package from my sweet friend Karine . It was to* M *and I and the box was full of creative goodies and treats. Totally unexpected and it really made my night! Thank you K for your endless thoughtfulness, friendship, love and support. You are a very special and dear friend. I am really blessed to have you in my life and I am proud to call you my friend. Love you! Thanks again for the special gifts! ♥
          I wroteglad it brought a smile to your face :)
          my friend wroteYou did more than that, K. You brought a smile to my heart.
          a friend of my friend wrote: That is just really sweet
           My friend wroteI think so too :)
         The other sunshine box receiver wroteShe is wonderful. One showed up at my doorstep on    Wed. After 2 horrible days it put the biggest smile on my face as well as made me cry. Karine  you bring such joy to so many. Good bless you. I love you!
  • *that part made me feel warm and joyful. A tear in my eye too..*
  • A friend of my friend:Now, that is a great lady friend!! Wow!!
    ME : Ur all too kind... was not that big of a deal wanted to show ya my love.I am blessed to call u both my friend.
  • My niece jumped inAuntie k Ur amazing and awesome I love u and I miss u!
Today I finished the thank you's for the school my kids go to.

I wanted to say thank you to all the staff there. Its a small school. I love that! The teachers are amazing! My children have thrived so much since being there. My son Jesse, who has struggled the most with all he has been through *neglect, abuse, abandonment before we adopted him*  has changed so much and I have had to be very watchful of him. I would of never felt OK in a public school, leaving him there that is... but I can leave him in full confidence at this school and everyone there knows about him and are always willing to help make good choices. THAT IS PRICELESS TO ME! I can't repay them. They are helping me mold him into a wonderful person :)  So this little thank you to all of them with a payday candy bar is nothing.  But it feels good. I am going to drop it off and its not signed. I won't hand them out to receive any thank you's back. I just will drop them off and know that everyone that works there will get one and I will feel so good :) I know they will smile and know someone appreciates them. :)

My next service projects will be done this week sometime. I want to make home made bread and deliver them to neighbors and friends :)  I don't know if I will ever stop doing this. I love this. There is a high you can not receive from any other thing in this world, than to serve others or to be kind to someone just because :) I feel blessed to be able to do each thing I am attempting :)

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Serving my child.....

      I wanted to share a precious moment.... my service project that I am doing...its for everyone .... I mean... I have tried to serve many friends and neighbors. Even strangers, but yesterday I felt the Holy Ghost whisper to me to go get my daughter a drink at work. I thought it was an odd thought...just so random and yet so clear.....  GET HER A DRINK!  So I ran to McDonalds because you can get a large drink for only 1 dollar. I grabbed her a Dr. Pepper...her favorite and I ran it to her :)

She was so surprised :) She later told me in a text she was having the worst day ever... Nothing was going her way and that she was really feeling frustrated and upset, until she got that drink. Which made her feel better, special and loved. 

I am so glad that I listened to the spirit... I am so glad it made her day. Just a simple little thing like that made her smile and get through a rough spot in her day :) I feel thankful that I did act upon that prompting :)

Three Sunshine boxes recieved .....

 Yesterday three of the four boxes I sent to cheer those I wanted to cheer arrived :).  My mom thought she was only to pass the one she got to her sister in law... but was pleasently suprised to have gotten one as well. She called me right away and said, "Is this miss Sunshine Box?" I laughed and acted like I had no idea incase she didn't get hers but her sister in laws.... She said, " I didn't know you were sending me a box too. That was so nice. Thank you" She then told me how her sister in law came over to open hers and how happy she was to have gotten something in the mail other than bills.   I felt so happy that I made two very special ladies smile.  I felt so happy... and I smiled thinking the other two boxes would come today to my two other friends.

I woke up this morning and got on face book and recieved this email... *which brought tears to my eyes. Tears of JOY*

Hi! I received your package yesterday. You made my day. I have been in such a bad mood the last few days  and when I saw that pkg sitting there waiting for me I was so excited. Then when I opened it up I nearly cried tears of happiness. Yesterday was the 1 mth anniversary of when *dogs name here* died *keeping who she is private*. So besides just being in a foul mood, I was sad. Your box full of 'Sunshine' made both of us so happy. You are one of the sweetest, kindest, caring, loving people I know. I could go on and on about how wonderful I think you are. Thank you so much for wonderful surprise! I wanted to call or send you a text message to thank you, but I couldn't find your number. I know I had it at 1 time. Recently though my phone had an issue and I lost several numbers. I'm going to guess that your number got lost with all the other ones. So anyway, I'm sending you a huge THANK YOU thru fb. If you lived closer I would drive to your house and give you a huge hug and kiss.
I have decided that I am going to pay it forward.... A very dear friend of mine had heart valve replacement surgery on Monday. She has had a rough time of it. She had hodgkins disease at 19 and came thru that. She lost her husband to MS when he was in his early 40's. She was diagnosed with breast cancer almost 2 yrs ago now and is in remission. Now the valve replacement. She has 2 teenagers and is a single mom. She is truly my hero. She won't be home from the hospital for another week or so. I have decided I am going to do something very similar for her. I'll make sure it's waiting at home for her when she gets out of the hospital. If it can put even 1/2 as big a smile on her face as yours put on my face, I'll be happy.
Thank you again my wonderful friend! Sending you hugs! I love you!!

Isn't that touching? I just cried again as I re-read it. I love that she wants to pay it forward! I love that. I am even more thankful that it made it on the day that her pet died, a month ago. That means to me that angels really stepped in to make sure that she got it when she needed it the most. That to me is so beautiful and special.

I feel emotional and good! I feel happy that I could do something, even so small, to cheer her and her husband. To show she isn't alone and someone cares.

showing others I care and that i love them has always made me feel good about myself and feel happy. Even when my world sometimes feels like it may be falling apart or I feel lonely. *which I have felt very lonely lately*  This tells me that I am not! :)  I am so thankful I did that .... that it meant so much to them as I had hoped. :)   These people don't know how much they bless me!  Just knowing them does!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Serving several more ...

So excited to hear from my Mom tomorrow. She thinks my aunt is the only one who will get a Sunshine box ;) But she will too :)

Today I have had fun serving. One of my friends has been really sick this weekend. I called her and asked her what she needed. She said " nothing," so I told her I was going to bring her dinner and a drink. She requested an ice tea drink from the store.  I delivered it. She really was not feeling well and looks like she had been through the ringer. I made her a dinner in a pumpkin.  :) It felt great to help her in a time of need for her. I know in the past when I have been sick and others dropped off diner, it meant so much to me. No worries... just able to rest and get better.

I then signed a card and made another pumpkin dinner for a neighbor and delivered it. They were super excited to try it :) I hope they like it :)

During my day, I had to call in my sons prescription to be renewed. The nurse is always so nice and quick to get me what I need when I need it, so I felt impressed to take out one of the cards and candy bars I have been making for the school and give one to her.  I went to go pick up the prescription and I asked the secretary to please give her the card.  I know that she was most likely surprised... and I hope that she felt how thankful I am for all her hard work she does for our family. I hope she smiled:)

Serving others really brings so much happiness to myself. I feel pretty selfish in that way. Because I feel so good when I do nice things for others. I am getting to where I am finding things daily and wanting to do them.  :) Its exciting to think about it every day for me.. Who can I try to help smile? Feel special and loved!~

Excited to continue the serving this week :)

Saturday, October 20, 2012

My birthday....

This morning my husband asked me what I wanted for my birthday.... so I confessed.... that he shouldn't get me anything because I have spent money doing the service projects and that I have enjoyed them so much.  He sat there and had tears in his eyes. I asked him whats wrong? He said," your so selfless. I would want something and you just want to give to others."   That really made me feel good that my husband after 22 years of marriage can see me as someone so good...  I don't want anything really and I didn't plan on all this being my gift, but I got carried away. :)  It sure gets fun when you want to be creative. It sure can cost money, but it won't for the next projects I have in mind :)  I needed him to see me in a new light.  Not that he has viewed me in any other way but for me... :) It really put a smile on my face :)  When you have been married as long as we have, a person *me* can worry that we are just that same old person nothing new or special to the other half. Like no mystery or of any interest.  And I think him thinking of me so nicely really helped me feel good about myself :) Like I HAD ONE ON HIM! :) LOL  For example, " See honey you don't know me that well after all ! "  I am still full of surprises. You can teach an old dog new tricks :) *I would be that dog* 

I have been thinking about my birthday and what I want my day to look like :) I hope it just is a good day where I feel loved.  Where my family hugs on me :) I am thinking maybe a family picnic for dinner. Something to make a new family memory :) A fun one :) 

Friday, October 19, 2012

Service 8 & 9

   So it took me the full five days to put together a sunshine box for each person.  I sent them today. So next week 4 people who did not live close will be *hopefully* pleasantly surprised. :) I hope... I really put a lot of thought and time into each. :)  Those people are very special people indeed!

 Today was service act 8 & 9.... I gave 4 pumpkins to a family who needed them and two to another family with produce. :)  They sent me pictures of the their little children after cleaning and carving them. :) With great big smiles on their faces. 

I have been working on 32 more service acts of kindness. I bought PAYDAY candy bars and printed off cards that say, Thank YOU for working so hard and doing such a great job... you deserve an extra
PAYDAY :)   I am delivering it to my children's school in a week

Now i know that is way over 41 acts of kindness and service, but I will do it until I feel I am done. I am really enjoying it. It gives me something to feel good about and look forward to doing. Who knows, maybe it will become apart of me.

I still want to make some bread and baked goods for neighbors and friends. I want to drop off another pumpkin meal to a friend, I want to babysit for someone who needs a serious break from their kids.  I am hoping to get my family involved in raking someones yard and I want to ask a blind man that I know if I can write any letters for him that he can't or help him in some way :)  

This is so far... .will report in as I get more done :) I feel better about myself. I feel self LESS and I like this feeling of helping others :) It really can lift you when you feel overwhelmed or down in life :)

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Day two and several more....

  I struggle from time to time with depression and I have several friends that are going through a really rough time. So I decided to make a Sunshine basket or box. Those who live close get the basket and those who live far get a box.  I am trying to take time to write personal messages in each one. Things I think will help them smile and lift their spirits.

 One friend is a special relationship with a man who has cancer. He is fighting so hard.  Sometimes on my hardest days, I can go to her face book page and always... ALWAYS find some positive uplifting message on her page. IT always surprises me... She and her man are so thankful for every day... they value each moment together... treasure it and each is precious time well spent. I love going to her page so I am making a special sunshine basket for them, full of things for them both. I am so thankful for their happy spirits... positive thoughts and uplifting messages of joy.

One basket is for my Aunt... her husband recently died and she is so very sad.  Most people are there right when someone dies, but people seem to forget the after time...when a person really needs someone. So I hope my basket brings her a smile and that she feels loved.

Another friend that will receive my basket is going through some very hurt feelings right now which has caused her to feel a little alone and down. I already delivered her basket. She was thrilled to get it and that made me feel so good to lift her or to do something nice for her. I know there have been many times in my life where I have felt the same and someone always showed me love and care.

Another friend just lost her dog.... it was barely two years old... she has no children yet so this is her baby.... and this was the sweetest, most loved dog.  Her husband walking the dog and he got spooked and had a heart attack. They had no clue he had any problems. So sad.... she has felt a little lost and i really hope it lifts her spirits.

The last basket.. * well for now* is for my Mom... who I know needs to be loved. She lives far from me and I miss her. I want her to know how much I love her. How thankful I am for her in my life and all she has given me.

The items are not the most expensive things.... just snacks, some yellow candies.... little fall decorations, a flower... some notes... trail mix, a candle and I can't remember the rest. Will post a picture of one of the boxes I put together. 

This project is a selfish project. I want to feel happy inside. I have been down. By cheering someone else up and focusing on their life problems... I am hoping it will lift me and take my mind off my own problems :)

Monday, October 15, 2012

Day 1 of service...

 I wanted to start my 41 acts of service in November, but yesterday at church, I felt strongly that I should start today. So I did.
I made a yummy dinner in a pumpkin and handed it out to  two families. One was a lady that I visit teach. She is going through a really hard time and she has been coming to church.  She was so excited that I made her a meal. I hope she enjoys it. The other is for a lady who has a lot of children and seems to run more than I do. I wasn't planning on making her one actually but I felt really strong as I was making it for my family and for this other lady that I should. So I DID :)
IT felt so great to do this for them. It wasn't a big thing really... but I put smiles on their face and that helped me to smile to know I did something nice for someone else :) 

I also went and bought things for my second project that I have in mind. I will write about it as I do it. :)
I am thankful I am able to do this. So thankful. I just hope that my promptings were right :)  I am excited about these projects :)

Saturday, October 13, 2012

Random Acts of Kindness

 I have a friend who had found a blog about doing random acts of kindness, but they did it on their birthday. So if you turn 30 you would do 30 random acts of kindness on that day... I thought about this... and I want to do something similar, but different. I have been trying to become more like Jesus. Even though I LOVE this idea and think it was a great one to do... I want to stretch it out and do something more... For me to do 41 acts of kindness would be rushed or I would feel rushed... and I want to really enjoy it and not rush. So ... I decided to do 41 days of SERVICE... not just kindness. I want to serve others. I want to do things that will really help and make them smile.  So I have been trying to compile my list. I have asked my friends to help me. I have asked the question..." WHAT ONE THING WOULD REALLY HELP YOU OUT RIGHT NOW IF YOU COULD HAVE IT?" on face book. Of coarse no one local answered... (I think there is a fear of admitting you have needs and a fear that someone will do it)  I know I don't think I could blurt out things like, " I have no energy left to make dinner or mop my floors." Believe me there were days where I didn't and most likely will have days where I won't. 

So here is my list so far and I want more ideas. I know that I could make each of these ideas into more than one day projects or more than one family.... but I really want to get creative. I am sure I will do several of these for different people.....

Do Dinners for someone who needs a break, or is exhausted, or is sick
Bake goods and take them to all my neighbors
Make Sunshine baskets for a select few that need some sunshine....
Watch someones kids who need a break or a date
Do a photo shoot for some teens who need to feel beautiful
Go to a homeless shelter and serve dinner or a meal or whatever they need help with
Go to an animal shelter and help there walking animals, bathing them, cleaning up after them. WHATEVER THEY NEED
Make Thank You cards with some candy on it and pass it out to  Over worked nurses, doctors, employees at various work places, police, and firemen... I was even thinking dispatch people
Thank the entire staff at my children's school with thank yous and a treat for their hard work
Help someone clean their house
Visit the old people in our ward.
rake someones yard up without them knowing  :)
I know that is a good start, but I want to do more....   I am going to blog about it every day, how I felt what happened, I am writing it because I want to remember how I felt to serve others. Not to get ooh's or aww's over it. Not to be prideful or boastful... My blog is my journal....... I want to remember this and I hope that I can bring my children with me to do these acts of service to teach them :)
I wanted to write my thoughts about this and I want to record this for my future, to look back on and hopefully by then this will have become a daily habit, naturally apart of who I am :) I have always said I know that ANGELS exist... I know that sometimes we, the people here on earth, ARE answers to someones prayers... I want to be that angel.... I want to be at least considered such an honor... I want to know I have done my part to help bring up my sisters and brothers spirits... even in the smallest acts that I am able to do. 

Friday, October 12, 2012

Do you love me?

This weekend was General Conference. I loved it. There were very powerful talks given, many touching my heart and lifting my spirits. One talk by Elder Jeffrey Holland really moved me. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I cried through his whole talk. It was about our Savior and how much do we love him? It can be watched here

Some of the questions he shared were as if he was Jesus saying to all of us, " DO YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN ALL OF THIS?" *all of whatever else we may put before him..... our movies, books, video games, shopping... the list is long and for me... I can add food. *

DID NOT MY LIFE AND LOVE TOUCH YOU MORE THAN THIS? *as if Jesus were asking* more than all the other things we choose to put into our lives to take up our time and energy.

Elder Holland then gave me more to think about... Come judgement day, when I am blessed to meet with Christ face to face and he asks me..."DO YOU LOVE ME?" will I be able to stand there and say with a clear conscience. YES, OH YES MY LORD, I LOVE THEE SO VERY MUCH! *by what I did with my life... how I served others and shared the gospel. How I tried to live as Christlike as possible.

It has been the question I am now asking myself every time I make a decision. I say to myself, " Will this show Jesus that I love him?" I want to make it one of our families new family motto's. I want them to think every time they go to act or choose to do something.... "will this show that I love Jesus?"

I have a lot of work to do... to be able to say I have done all I could. I mentioned food above because I think if I feed my body things that are not healthy that I am not showing Him how much I love him. I was given this great blessing of a body. How can I treat it so badly ? It is my personal temple. Like the temple I attend I would not dare enter in unworthily and this is how I must think about my body as well.

When I don't make time to connect with the Lord daily I am not showing HIM I love him. I want to show him, I want to be able to kneel at his feet and thank him for this life and look into his eyes and without him having to ask me... "DO YOU LOVE ME" have him just respond with, " THOU GOOD AND FAITHFUL SERVANT, WELCOME HOME" I want him to know it... to not even need to ask it. I want to help others and serve others more. I want to teach it to my children. I am now praying for help with this.... asking the Lord to guide me to opportunities to be able to do just that.

My husband did point out something that gave me great comfort. He said, " You already are serving... your family." That meant a great deal to me, for him to not only recognize it but to point it out to me, because sometimes I feel like what I do is just my job, but indeed... Mothers everywhere do serve their families and loved ones constantly :)

I am excited to think of new goals to make for myself and with my family that will be orientated about Christ and serving him.
If you have noticed some changes.... like more posts... its because I combined two different blogs. I loved how this one looked.... so I thought I will just write in this ONE :) Enjoy going through all I have wrote :) Thanks for stopping by to get to know us :)

Mind over Matter

I woke up this morning and found myself comforted by this song......
Where Can I Turn for Peace... Which is appropriate right now for me. I have some things going on in my life that I am not going to share at this moment, because I am still trying to figure them all out.

Satan sure knows me.... he knows how to play my thoughts... I have heard that we are our own worst enemy. Meaning, I am my worst enemy and you are yours. We say things to ourselves, that hopefully no one has ever said to our face or thought about us. I have found my thoughts running rampid since I have so much on my mind lately... some of them are really not good for me.

That is when I found myself praying, or talking to God. And this song came into my head.... the words brought me comfort.

Where can I turn for peace? Where is my solace? When other sources cease to make me whole? When with a wounded heart, anger or malice, I draw myself apart, searching my soul?

Where. when my aching grows, Where, when I languish, Where, in my need to know, where can I run? Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish? Who, who can understand? He, only ONE.
He answers privately, Reaches my reaching, In my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend. Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching. Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

I love music. It always lifts me and touches me. I wish I had the gift to write such a beautiful song. I am so thankful that someone did!

We taught our children last night at family home evening, through a story in the Friend Magazine, that if you hear someone saying bad words, sing a song in your head from church. I think its great that I found that same thought pattern when I found myself talking negatively to myself. It started out as me venting to the Lord, telling him all my worries and upsets.... which then turned into self inflicting thoughts of turmoil.... then the words of this song, swooped in my mind and it all went away. I felt peace... I felt comfort, I felt loved and well again.

Mind over matter is a lot of it I guess. With any situation we all have a certain amount we can contribute and control. I took that control and gave it all to the Lord. I think I might have to try singing lyrics of church hymns more often. I might find my thoughts and spirits are lifted more :)

A New Journey

So one of my closest friends of 18 years literally just left Idaho. I feel a little lost at the moment, highly emotional and sad. I know that she is being driven to where she is going next, literally driven if not pushed! I know she really has exhausted all possibilities to stay as long as she could. I don't do CHANGE well or easily. I really struggle.
So I want to run and go eat something or drink something that I usually find great comfort in whenever life isn't going my way... or I am hurting. BUT..... I can't.
I have the desire to get healthy. A deep desire. I am thinking and hoping its a stronger desire that it can over come this temptation to do the other bad habit. I have started my own little new journey just recently. It has taken me longer than most to get where I am today. Some people, they can do this new lifestyle eating and exercises with ease. They make a plan and just do it. For me, it has taken a couple weeks to get the hang of the food, then I added exercise. I am still not doing what I need to exactly but I am getting there. I am excited to say that I have pushed myself. Todd and I have been going to the y to swim laps for 30 minutes. I have never had swimming lessons in my life. I am probably the funniest person to watch swim, but I haven't let that stop me. In fact the life guards are so sympathetic *or worried* that they have taken time to help give me pointers. I am now able to swim a lap while putting my face in the water and coming up for air on the side like real swimmers, how ever, sometimes I still gasp and have to keep my head up a little longer to catch my breath but I keep going and then I put it back in the water when I am ready. Sometimes I even inhale water... that isn't fun either. The point is I am doing something I never thought I could do... and it hasn't been easy. I am embarrassed to get in and try every time I do. I feel the eyes watching me, I feel like people are snickering. But I don't want that to stop me. My husband said he was really impressed because I am almost passing him up and when he needs to stop I am still going. :)
Its been good for us to do together. Working out has bonded us more... we have a goal to shoot for together :) So nice to not do it alone.
I am struggling with the new foods... not that they are bad but I am not as full as long or sometimes its satisfied. Sometimes I just want sugar or something sweet or something not so good for me. So here I am.... tears going down my face because one of my best friends just left and I know she isn't coming back. I know it. I almost feel like singing TILL WE MEET AGAIN. We are both NOT in any position to go back and forth and see each other as much as we like to dream we can. It may be years before I see her again. That is so sad to me. No one has gotten me the way she has.... and I can do and say things to her that I can't anyone else. She gets me. I am thankful for Internet, texting and phones but it won't be the same....
So I started to write because that little devil showed up on my left shoulder... saying, "GO GET..... yada yada" *basically right now a frozen hot chocolate is what I was thinking about... and I have the good angel on my right saying... NO DON'T ! You have worked too hard to do this... it won't change anything... it won't keep your friend here or make the pain any easier!!!
I have always told my children GOOD always wins over EVIL... so that has to be out come here. I am going to go work out instead... drink some water and hope that the temptation goes away. I might have a good cry too but at the end of that cry and work out I think I will feel better.
On with the journey.... here we go.... bye Tam!