Sunday, June 30, 2013

Just stuff...

These are outfits my Mom, better known to the children as "GRANDMAX, she mad them  :) The girls loved them. They have little shorts under them. Perfect for hot summer.

See my daughter in purple, she is our kink in the wheel. Keeps me on my feet, the less traumatized out of the three children we adopted.

My Grandbaby in outfits her Great Grandmax made her

I swear Zoey can be crying and if she see's a camera she will stop crying to smile. She is a natural with the camera! Such a doll!
So I have to share my imperfectness. ... I am a cussing Mormon. I don't mean to be. Its a really bad habit. I don't do many words, but I have one.. ."SHIT" I don't know why. I have tried to stop.. I really do... but it slips from time to time and I am not perfect. I won't ever pretend to be someone or something I am not. My family did not want me to share this on Facebook, but I did. I have friends who are just like me... have oops moments and I thought this was funny... so here it is...
My ELLIE, the kink in the wheel in our family...the one up in purple up above..... she was trying to help I am sure.... the children at meal times usually always wants what the other one has * we are talking about our adopted children, they come with the issue of not having enough or feeling worried they won't get what others have, all caused from trauma and things taken from them in early life so we have to be patient here* Anyhow... someone always wants the color plate another has or they think someone else has more portions... so on and so forth.... with a little encouragement they usually calm down.. anyhow I really Think my Ellie was trying to help.. but she says, "WE ALL HAVE THE SAME SHIT"   OH MY GOSH! I could die! Trying to not laugh... in total shock... and then feeling bad cause I am the cause of this word, I explained its  not a good word and she should not say it.      BUT FUNNY SHE USED IT IN A CONTEXT AS SHE DID! I had to laugh.
Then my older daughter was reading books to them and they were all bring books about fairies, and dragons, except ELLIE... she brings... "BAD GIRLS, BAD GIRLS, WHATCHA GONNA DO" which is a book about a young girl in highschool dealing with bad and mean girls... not what you think.. I promise! But the title was hilarious coming from our KINK in the wheel. She is fun. She keeps us on our feet and always guessing. She is such a busy little girl. 
We are blessed. I find joy in these silly moments. THEY ARE REAL AND THEY ARE HONEST! :) whether honest mistakes or whatever, I have to find joy in them!  This is the life I was given. :) I am so blessed and thankful for it all.. the good ... the bad and the funny!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Heavens have been opened up....

The Heavens Have been opened up and I am not alone in this calling in church as I would be promised. I have to share this experience which just now dawned on me what has happened. I have not only learned from this but I am in awe over the amount of inspiration that has occurred.

Two weeks ago I was preparing to teach my class in church and my daughter also has this calling and she was struggling to find something she needed or wanted *an idea* and somehow I found what she needed and that led me to finding things that I felt SO INSPIRED to do for our Sunday Challenge.  This Sunday Challenge is a way for me to help my children bring and use the gospel in their lives more and I reward them for it, along with whatever they get out of it.

So I found this paper on the Priesthood and it asked questions, it said the 5th article of faith on it and I felt that they should write down one experience on the back and share it two weeks with our class for a special treat...

Two weeks is now tomorrow..... and I am preparing for my class and I see that this lesson is perfect for that challenge I gave them will chime right in with my lesson. It is a neat feeling to realize how inspired I was two weeks ago without even knowing what my lesson would be then .... and how they perfectly go together and hopefully will help bring the spirit into my class. Its moments like this that tell me yes, this is where I am to be in the church calling wise... some days I have doubt.

This also taught me that I need to look ahead on my lessons and coordinate my challenges with my lessons. I am just so excited with this experience and didn't want to forget  how the Lord has been there for me and when you recognize it strengthens me :) My testimony only grows from this, as do I :)

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Mama Gram

 Today I get to go get a mama Gram. OH YEAH ME! Does anyone want to take my place? Cause I am willing to offer :)  Yeah not looking forward to my boobs being smashed and all that! Nope!
Nervous as all get out... the What if's are running thru my head like no other.... what if they find that what I think is a lump is cancer? What if I have to get a needle to find out if its cancer...what if I have to have chemo... the thoughts are un-ending...can I do this? Will I do this? Why does this have to even be a challenge in life? The zillion thoughts running through my head.

Its the first time I want to hold someone's hand... and yet you really can't.  I am almost depressed feeling... like numb over the whole thing. I just have to do this. I have no choice, not really. Not if I want to live or try to if its serious.  I can't imagine what women go through who have cancer... I don't want to know.  I pray I am not a number.... one in so many that get cancer.

I had a night mare that it was the end of the world last night. Makes sense, kinda how I feel right now.... it was really dark... I was somewhere going somewhere with a load of people, some family some not and there were dark clouds all around whatever it was we were traveling in... and animals and things were being dropped out of the sky... and I stood up and told the whole group of people I was with that we have to have HOPE.  That faith wasn't fear.  I actually preached to the people as if having this HOPE would make a difference and save us. I even called my daughter at college and told her the same... and I was trying to keep the peace in this place... people who were upset, I was fixing their problems. It was a strange dream.   I keep thinking... is this me telling me to have HOPE? to have Faith? I felt like the end of the world in my dream... I kept thinking I don't want it to be here yet... and at the same time in my dream I was trying to tell myself I would be ok to keep positive.

Anyhow... in a few hours I go... do the thing I do not want to do and then I have to wait 7 days for the results JOY ME.. I am not good at waiting... I am a mess.

Sunday, June 23, 2013

Progress with Jesse... little miracles of healing

Who says miracles don't happen?  I say they do! For watching my last three children heal has been a MIRACLE! Each little step... amazes me and I am so thankful to be apart of it. When we first became parents to these very needy, scared and hurt children... life was so different.

He came to us afraid... he didn't sleep even on strong medicines. He went from not sleeping at all, to sleeping some in our rooms but still up and down a lot... which meant I didn't sleep. To sleeping in his room with a brother with many up and downs thru out the night, to now sleeping in his room all by himself... ALL NIGHT! And now the latest miracle.... HE HAS LEARNED TO SELF SOOTH! :) We bought the three little ones their own radios and at night we put them to sleep with soothing music. JESSE has now learned to get up and turn it on and I found this out by checking on him one night. He had turned it on by himself and was asleep. Then I found out he did that in the early morning too. He woke up too early and so he put on the radio and fell back to sleep.
LITTLE MIRACLES! HUGE STEPS! SO thankful for it all. What a journey I am on. What an amazing adventure to watch my three little children, healing and growing into the amazing people I know they will become ;) SO BLESSED!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

The grass is greener on the other side.....

   For years, most of my marriage 23 years of it, I have wanted, yearned and longed to move back east where I am from. There is so much I miss. GREEN everywhere, trees by the zillion.... so many you can't see far away because of it but the drive during Fall is so magical...

The many colors in fall. I love it. I love driving under trees and down windy roads surrounded by nature.... and the other thing I miss..... besides family and friends, is...

I use to go and sit early in the morning and watch the sun rise. It was so beautiful and so peaceful. I loved the ocean, walking the board walk and meeting new people. Life was one grand adventure while living there.
People say "The Grass isn't always greener on the other side." I use to think..."WHATEVER!!"   But now in my old age... I have come to realize we are all searching for something. Many people feel stuck where they are... they have thought that there is some big grand adventure somewhere else waiting for them. And there could be I guess... its all how you look at it.  I have been for many years sitting here wishing my time away... wishing I was HOME and back east where I loved so much. Doing all this wishing made me sorta HATE it here. Not giving it a real chance.  But today after much thought... I have realized.... that anywhere you are can be a grand adventure. Can be beautiful and wonderful.  I mean, GOD MADE THIS WHOLE PLANET! Even the most dismal areas must have something amazing about them because HE made them.  Its about our attitude.
So the grass may seem greener on the other side, but if you take time to water the lawn *Look around and appreciate where you are* then you might see your side is just as green and wonderful.
 Idaho.... I have learned so much here. I most likely will die in this state, I know morbid right... but the truth is my Husband is not budging.  I know, I have tried everything.  So... I need to love this place. I don't want my children wasting their life away wishing to be somewhere else or missing somewhere else as I have. What a waste of time! All those years I could of been looking around and finding the good here. I could of had more adventures. I have made some great memories, met my best friend/sister in life,  here and I have grown so much here. Especially away from my family. I have learned to make it on my own. I have learned to love the mountains. To find the beauty here. I love the farm land around us.  I still miss the green, the trees and the ocean...but I have learned to appreciate Idaho and call it home. 
I find it interesting that so many people feel this need to go somewhere and find something.... I think its a lesson to learn...that sometimes what we are in search of is right in front of us. Sometimes the most important thing in this life... isn't the grand adventures, many places to see...but the people we experience life with.

Thursday, June 13, 2013

Life right now

Three of my children and husband went on a pioneer hike ;)  They were so excited. They looked so great! I am excited for them. It helped them want to learn about their ancestors... who they were and what kind of trials they went through which were so many hard ones for them. I think this will help them appreciate all that they have. Which they already do but it will go deep within them. I have been so blessed to be their mother! I have really great kids. They are all so talented, well behaved, well mannered, all are over achievers and strive to make A+ grades ... they are all hard workers and so loving, ready to serve one another and others! I don't know how I got so lucky but I am so thankful!

While they are gone I am staying home with the itty bittys.... taking them to swimming lessons... having Mommy time with them. Doing special stuff only little children would appreciate.

Today I want to get some paint and paint my front door.... and let the children paint on some papers today...I might take them to bounce. Ryan my son in law is working there today.... I just want to make it a great day for the little kids.... They slept with me lastnight and we all slept in till 7:45! Felt amazing! I haven't slept in that long in so long, I am half way tempted to keep them sleeping there forever... (NOT REALLY ) Haahahahaha
Life right now is great. I have no complaints. We make all our bills, have food on our plates and roof over our heads. The kids are still healing and thriving..> We have puppies... they are fun!
 This is our Dog Chewy

The redder dog is my daughter's and when she and her hubby move out it goes with them. :) His name is mojo
I have been trying to do little projects around the house... that feels good... I want to start making Christmas gifts.... get that done early... NO STRESS! I am doing school in the morning with the kids and they love that... and I think they are better for me when I do... it helps them motivate their brain :)
All is right as rain in the world.! I am thankful for that! SO VERY THANKFUL!

Monday, June 3, 2013

Sunday Bliss

This is really just to record what a beautiful day it was yesterday.... how for the first time as a Sunday School teacher over the 14-15 year olds I felt like I got thru.  It is an amazing feeling to feel when you make progress on something you have strived to figure out and worked so hard on.

I wrote how I was worried about one of my youth... and we came up with the Sunday Challenge.  We started last week with the challenge that this week if they all bore their testimonies I would bring them something special.  I wasn't sure they would do it. I haven't seen the youth in our ward bare their testimonies in a long time. I came up with a gift that you stuff a rubber glove with various candies.  It was my HIGH FIVE GIFT :) The kids loved it and thought it was super creative :) Which made me feel really good. I put 20 of them together.

Yesterday at church I got up first to bare my testimony. Trying to set the example and trying to let them know we are all in this together.  Then I waited.... I then looked at my own kids and said, " SET THE EXAMPLE FOR ME PLZ" First went Taylor then Cally and then my son in law Ryan. He likes to come to my class. He is a lot of fun and a great help.

Then I waited some more and finally more kids came up. One by one... everyone in my class did it except for twin brothers who are investigators and a young man who has been inactive for a long time. So when we got in class I gave them the opportunity to bare their testimony or say why they like church incase they still did not know what a testimony was.

I saw the twin boys squirming in their seats during sacrament and right after sacrament the Bishop's wife came over and thanked me. She shared with me that her son told her he was super excited to go to church that day. That she saw a change in him and she thought it was me. She also asked me to explain to the investigator twins what the Holy Ghost feels like in class.  

I was touched. I didn't think this challenge thing had really affected the kids this much. One of my students got up and told us that he went home last week and told his family he would be baring his testimony on fast sunday.

So I get to my class room and the three boys who didn't say theirs were there alone, which is odd, usually everyone is there right away so I took that opportunity to explain to them what the holy ghost feels like and they all got so excited and said they felt it :) it was a neat moment to share with them.

Then our class was on Unity.  We did B.A.R.F. bags, * be a real friend*  I took 3 kids and we all learned something about them and everyone wrote something nice without signing it and put it in their bag.  They loved that. We will be doing 3 each week till they are all done.

Then we did a great and cool object lesson. I took a picture of Justin Bieber and put over Jesus, which they had no clue about... put that on a Dart board and they were all ready to say something about him and to throw a dart... once we were done I took the picture off and showed the holes in Jesus and shared the scripture with them.... Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.   THE GASP when I revealed Jesus was awesome. We then talked about how we need to find one good thing in every person and try to not talk bad or about other people because they are children of God too. I think that really sinked in their head :)

As I was packing up class, the Bishops son asked, What is our next challenge :) with others eagerly ready to hear and do. It made my heart sore. I told them next week I will give out a new one. We are working as a class to have a party or get together at my house or the dollar theater.  They are all super excited. I love these kids so much

I felt so good all day yesterday. HAPPY! Like I did it... I accomplished reaching them in a way they wanted to do great things :)  I know the Lord guided me all the way and I can't take any credit really for it, but what a great experience it was for me. One I never  want to forget