I have been watching three of my closest friend go through three very difficult times and circumstances. One has lost everything, literally, her home and work. One has lost trust and faith her spouse, and one has lost the ability to have a normal life at this moment while her husband is in the hospital, he has been for weeks and weeks to come.
I have been thinking about life myself... how my life is...where it is at, from my marriage to my children, the stage in life I am in and my Mom. I have thought a lot about trials lately... trying to be that good friend to my friends.... wondering why they have to hurt. Crying with them, praying for them and rejoicing in their ability to continue to move forward and to do so with great hope!
I have felt a lot of anxiety lately. I know that I am being prepared for a farewell in my life. To someone I treasure and love deeply. I know that God is preparing me for this event because all my life I have been afraid of it. I have been sickened by it, by the mere thought of it happening. I have felt the depths of despair over it.... begging God to please just give me more time. But through all of this, I have been brought to the things I know and believe in. The things I trust. Which is... that everything happens for a reason. That everyone must die. I don't want this to happen, NO ONE EVER DOES. But I have been through it before and those times were heart breaking. My brother, my sister, my father, my friends, my grandparents and my mother in law. Death is NOT THE END! I know this... I know that these loved ones are angels and they are near me. I know this. I know they have work to do on the other side, but I know they check on me. They are here when I whisper their name or think of them out of the blue. I am thankful for that knowledge. To know that they go on... out of pain, only with joy and love surrounding them. I am thankful to know they are not just dead in the ground dead. I am thankful that life has more purpose than that! That we have more to look forward to and that there is no real end, only progression!
I watch my friends, hurting and searching for answers for themselves. Becoming closer to God as they go through all that they do and learning from these very difficult trials, and I want to help them. I want to take their pain away. I want to make life easy and good for them. But I also know that this will make them... something stronger, more and even better. That this will stretch them to the point of breaking and they will not break! That they will find that strength with in themselves and continue to press forward and do all that they must and can! I know that God has prepared each one for it to. I know right now they can't see it, but I can. My friend who has lost her home and is jobless right now, she knows how to juggle things under the worst possible situations ... she is amazing at finding resources and making it, even with what seems to be nothing. I have learned so much from her. Even in her darkest moments.... she still stood.... maybe feeling battered and beaten but she stood and she kept going and she found hope and strength to do it all. She is so strong. I know she hates where she is at right now in her life.. she so desperately wants her life to be different. But I know she will make it what she wants and things are going to end up better in the end for her. I just know it! She is a hard worker, a great Mother and Wife. She can feel like the world has dumped on her but she still listens to everyone else who needs to vent and she is still able to lift them, direct them and love them. She has such Christ like attributes, she doesn't even know! I have been blessed to call her friend!
I have watched my other friend who is struggling with something that has shaken her faith and trust in her husband be prepared for this. She got really sick and had horrible symptoms for like 6 months from this illness... which made her feel miserable. This illness took a serious toll on her emotionally and every other way. But through that she got closer to God, she kept going on... she didn't let it stop her and she became even stronger than she thought and now when her world feels like its falling apart, when Satan himself is trying to destroy a family.... she is pulling through. She is turning to the one who has never left her side and helped her through everything. She hurts, but she knows in her heart what is the most important. She won't allow Satan to take her down. She is trusting in God and forgiving and will learn to trust again. She is keeping her most valued and sacred thing together... her family! I am so proud of her. Her decisions and her strength. For she is a light to many on how to turn to God and give it to him. She has fought many battles in her life and each time she has come out on top... and has won. I know she will do the same here!
My last friend, she is just as amazing as the other two women I have mentioned. She has such a loving heart. She has served so many people and has a special gift to work with handicapped people. Not many people have this gift of patience, love and service. Her life has not been easy by far, but she always has found the sunny side. The "it's going to be alright" side. Even when her first marriage fell apart, she was still the friend I knew and loved. She was not angry, just sad... she still wanted to fight for what she felt was important and good. But God had a better plan for her. Then she met her current husband. She became even more. She did things with her new husband she didn't even realize she could do. He opened a whole new world up to her. Her life became happy again, full of love and like she deserved! But now her spouse is suffering some health issues... she is separated from him... which is hard on any marriage. She is being the single parent, working, taking care of everything and running back and forth to a hospital hoping her love will recover soon and come home. Her life is upside down with some other details that have recently happened from her ex, that has just added to heart break and stress. But here she is.... still standing, ever so strong... doing what she has to... day to day... and still SMILING! She might be smiling but it doesn't mean that all is well.... you will not hear her complain. She is a light soul, a happy soul and even though life is really hard for her right now I have all the faith and trust that she is going to be ok and soon this will all be over. Her husbands health will recover and he will be home in her arms once again.
Darn these trials in life. They are so hard on us, and even though I know that God is preparing me for someone special to leave this earth... I know I too will be ok ... somehow. I just have to appreciate the now... make every moment count... and count my blessings for I have been blessed with many.
I am so thankful for my friends, for their strength, for their hope and for their courage. They are amazing women to me. I love them dearly and am so blessed to call them friend. I know its hard right now for them. They are and always will be, in my prayers.... I am always here willing to help in any way they need. I wish I could take this from them and help more than I have, but I know God is there with them, never leaving their side and that this too will pass.
I just had all this on my mind.... am in awe that three of my closest friends are going through such trials all at the same time... its a helpless feeling not being able to do more for them. I sometimes don't even know what to say to help them through it. But I hope they know I love them and am here, day or night.
