Wednesday, September 11, 2013


life is one big roller coaster... you spend your whole childhood in a hurry to grow up. Can't wait to grow up and be adults.  Then you grow up and you have kids and feel like... oh my gosh.... why did I rush that? Then your kids grow up and your like... WHAT? YOUR AN ADULT? I Can't parent you? HUH! But... BUT.... let me help you... let me guide you.... don't do that... oh no... you did what? Why? HUH?   OH?? and you have to stand by and watch them make mistakes or maybe watch them do well.... you get to see both... and they don't want your help. They don't want your input... They are ADULTS now... and I think did my mother suffer ? Did she struggle to watch me screw up as an adult? Like how did she do this? Did she not care? I know she did..... I am just doing my best... trying to help.. and I screw that up.... and now.... my help isn't just not needed its not wanted to the point of  Don't even think about worrying about me or helping me cause I DON'T WANT YOUR HELP!!!!!!!!!!

We really knew this was gonna happen before we came to earth and we agreed to it? REALLY?   ...  I am struggling... I am trying to NOT worry. I am trying to NOT HELP.... but its hard... and it hurts to not be needed or wanted.... in the way you programmed yourself to be while raising kids.... you just don't raise kids for 20 years and then one day say.. OH WAIT YOU ARE DONE!


Nickel said...

I think maybe a nice long talk with YOUR Mom would help!

Annie said...

I think these are issues everyone struggles fact, I have another friend going through the same thing, RIGHT NOW! It is so odd, like watching the same script used in two different films.

It is rather fascinating to me; in our family we seem to not rush to move out, get seriously involved, or get married. My mom, and my grandmothers all got married around 30; me too. My oldest daughter got
married at 25 and that seems too young to me! Anyway, I guess when people are almost 30 you let them get on with it, without feeling the need to comment (or all your comments are used up by this point).