Monday, May 13, 2013

My list of changes the kids have made and my new focus...

 I have smart friends..... they all love me and they love me so much they tell me like it is and how they think it...just like I say it like it is and how I think it. :)

Someone told me to stop focusing on what use to be.... to focus on what it is now and to FIND JOY in that...

So I thought.... GOOD ADVICE!  At times... its so draining... and exhausting... and more than not, I find myself on my knees crying to the Lord BEGGING for help, insight and direction on what to do to help my children.  *that sounds like every other mother right? *

So I thought I would list what changes that have happened to our family for the better. Stop going on about all the stuff I am unable to fix and frustrated over right at this moment. *COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS...yeah SOUNDS FAMILIAR*

1. My older children have learned parenting skills I would of not been able to teach them. *who knows, maybe some day they will adopt and need to know this stuff.... maybe they will have a child with learning disabilities or struggles.*

2. This has taught our family to come together even more.... it has literally taken all of us... My husband and I ... and our first five children to help these children. DO YOU KNOW OF ANY OTHER WAY THAT COULD BRING A FAMILY TOGETHER TO WORK SO HARD AS A TEAM? I am sure there are other easier ones, but for this task.... these challenges I think its making us better people!

3. It has given us all compassion. We see them act out or hurt and we tell ourselves... THEY ARE HURTING or NEED SOMETHING.. instead of ... THEY ARE HORRIBLE BRATS!!!!!! And we try to find creative ways .. *LIKE CHRISTLIKE* to help them. *what better parental skills could I give my older children and myself?!*

4.I have come to rely on the Lord a lot more than ever in my parenting and dealings from day to day. I have never talked to him so much in my entire life. Pretty sad its taken this to get me there. But I know he hears me and answers me... sometimes IMMIDATIELY

5. I have taken a child who has seen animal cruelity   and participated in it... who was NOT to be trusted around animals and now... has chores to love on them, brush them, feed them and take care of them. He truly loves them and has told me never wants to hurt one again. :) How my heart fills with joy on that!

6. We have been more faithful in FHE since getting these children because I feel they truly do need all the lessons in life we can give them.  Which has blessed our family for coming together weekly has been special and great quality time. They all look forward to it :) They all take turns teaching :)

7. My Jesse hated Jesus when he came to us... now he loves him .... WHAT A CHANGE A HEART IN THAT ONE ALONE! HUGE!

8.My little children didn't sleep through the night... THEY ALL THREE SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT NOW...It would take Jesse 4 to 5 hours to get to sleep.... Now its only minutes :)

9. Jesse was on a lot of horrible medicines... now he is on very little  :)

10. Bella was afraid of my husband.  All people actually coming in her room or near her bed... Today she comes to us, cuddles in the morning... especially loves hugs from Daddy and is no longer afraid of someone coming in to hurt her!

11. Jesse is speaking better. We could hardly understand him when he came to us. Now .. no problem

12. My birth son Jaden... he was the baby.. he was spoiled... he didn't really enjoy being responsible. Now he is a big brother! He is so responsible. It took him a good year to adjust.... but now he takes on helping and caring for the kids. He loves babysitting them and even takes time to encourage Jesse to be good and will play with him if he is.  I am so proud of the changes in him that I have seen.

13.These children came to me unattached and scared, afraid of MONSTERS and too many other things. We have been able to settle and calm their fears. We have taught them there are no monsters and they understand that! :)  They have learned that the blue people on avatar are NOT REAL and that movies are make believe :)

14. My children didn't like to hug.... now they love cuddles.

15. Jesse had so much more anger in him. IT was his first response to everything... now he cries or has more acceptable responses to things. He still has moments of anger but his outburst have gotten so much better.

. There is still a lot of learning to do... even though at times its so hard, in the end we are being blessed whether at that moment we realize it or not. I am thankful for that.

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