I think I can see clearly at least clearer..... Bottom line..... the truth is.... Yes I played a big part in the thing that has been hurting me.... But... I also feel that there was wrong on all of us... we all played a part in this. It wasn't just me... or just my husband... it wasn't just them... it was all of us. They had responsibilities that they were not holding up on.... they had things they said they would do and didn't....
My husband and I have learned a lot about ourselves.... we are going to be taking some classes I think to help us become better people. We want to learn from this mistake and grow from it. Change! I never want to see the person that came out a week ago....
I am trying daily to make changes.... small as they may be they are changes... I am trying to become better. Yes.... I made a mistake but I am human... I have to forgive myself. I have done *What I Feel* everything in my power to make sure I have corrected my wrongs..... it is just going to take time. Just time.... and patience...
I am going to be ok. I have to.... I have too many other people who care about me... who need me to be ok.... I can't just focus on this... I have too many other obligations in my life.
They will come around. They have to...I hope!
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Youth. They are very young. Plus, fear and stress cause lots of hurt. I've no way of knowing what happened: I'm just guessing, but I expect everyone believes they are doing the best they can do, and are in the right.
I had the most painful disagreement with my mom this week. She said some things that were truly hateful about one of my children. Another of my sons (the one she loves dearly) got in the middle of it, and said, "Mom, Grandma and I are the ones who love you most in all the world...") Funny that love can make for hurt, but it does. If none of you cared a bit about one another - what would any of it matter?
And, yes; you have a lot of people who love you and need you. Keep calm and carry on.
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