Missing my Grandbaby!

 Today I am missing the sounds of my grandbaby. Her smile... her giggles... even her cries.. I miss my daughter Virginia.... but I am so happy for her. They are all finally getting on their feet... doing what they need to..having their own little family and life.   It hurts a little... at the same time.... its such a bitter sweet thing.... Your whole life is your children... all that you do... and every day why you wake up. Then one day they leave and its suppose to happen but you miss being apart of their life.  Soon Kalene and Kyle will leave.... them having jobs and not being here during the day will probably help me with the switch.... when they move out...but they are leaving one by one..... and I am happy for them all.... and I am sad for me.... because I am kinda lost.  I have still have children at home to raise and be busy with but there is something missing... its the other children who are now all grown up.  

I remember being young.... starting out in life... the excitement...the dreaming we did... Oh the window shopping and planning for the future.... and now Todd and I are in a weird place.... we are thining retirement.  *A SCARY STAGE I WILL ADMIT*  Scary because.... it means closer to the end. I have seen my life go by so fast already. I know its flying.... and I am truly trying to treasure up every moment.... be IN THE MOMENT! The more I get older, the more I am learning this.

I am learning to allow my little children to touch things they were never allowed to touch as infants... and it kinda feels like I am raising them under GRANDMA style because most new mommies are like "Don't touch this or that..." and I am like.... "ITS OK :) " and its different. I am enjoying watching them explore the world around them. Its so very different being a grandma.   I am a lot less strict with my youngest than I was with my first five. Its so interesting to think about.

My mom is getting older... .I don't know how long I have with her but I treasure every phone call and minute I have had with her. I just love her so much! She is one of my very best friends.

Friends.... I have gotten in this rut... where I am not making time for friends. Its probably not good.  I just like my routine... and the quiet.... and I am to this point where I don't want to entertain. This is probably really bad...everyone needs friends. I just don't feel so close to too many people.

I think I need to start a routine that is good. I was thinking of getting our family into a MUSIC HOUR :) And having music playing or them learning something.... and I have thought about a family walk at night now that its not FREEZING! I even thought I would do it during the day with my Ellie.   I need to get back to excercising... then divide my time with chores, and crafts.  Then the rest of my time is family. 

Anyhow... I am missing my ZOEY! She is just so precious! I love her. I have been so blessed to see her thru her first year... she took her first steps with me... she said some of her first words with me... she crawled with me... and she broke her first teeth with me.  I love that! I am so thankful for my little namesake! She is precious! I can't wait for more :)