Thursday, August 15, 2013

Heavy Hearted...

Today I sit here broken.... with tears running down my face.  My heart is aching.... I am hurt, sad, mad and frustrated. I have tried so hard to do only good and somehow.... as lost as I am as to how.... it all has back fired on me.
I can't even explain what is going on out of fear that my family will read this and be mad that I posted something so personal on here...
but... I hope.. some day... SHE understands... all that has been said and done has been because I LOVE HER! I want more for her and her child! I am trying to help.... my husband and I are trying to guide and help her... and she doesn't see it. She just looks at me upset.... offensive and ready for a fight at every moment which is NOT what I want. We have killed ourselves to shelter them... to feed them and to make sure they are set up well. Comfortably...  with their own space... we have helped at every whim of a asking or of a hint... and because we want and require things that should be naturally there.... we are the bad guys... and I fear when they look back will always be the bad guys. It hurts...  especially when we have invested so much.  Today I am just sad.... I feel broken inside... and I hurt. This was not the outcome that I wanted or deserved!     I just want to throw my hands up and say I GIVE UP!  and I just might.

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