Lifes lessons

 I love life... and all the little lessons I am taught. I do... I can see me over coming some serious stumbling bocks and its free-ing... its great when you can look at yourself honestly and see those lessons that have been put there. To see the changes in yourself and to feel the happiness that comes from accomplishing these hurdles.

I am starting to look at everything I do as a lesson.  I am trying to be quicker at learning these lessons. 
From being jealous of someone... not of them but maybe the attention they get or friends that just flock to them...  I miss having friends around... having time for friends. With my life right now, I really don't have time or energy to keep up with friends.  I am on the go all the time... and for me to get out with a friend, requires me to ask someone in my family to watch my little children which I just feel like they are helping all the time.   I do need to figure the friend thing out.  I do... I know its important and that its needed...

I am in the process of letting go of something I have held on to for years... a great pain... that I have or I think I have finally come to terms with. In order to complete this stumbling block I must make a date to visit a grave.  I have learned to accept how certain people treat me... regardless. I have come to realize how I view myself is way more important than how they view me. How I act or react to how they treat me is and will be in the heavens ... a reflection of me. So I want to act Christ like... and even if its hard, be kind and sweet!

I am still learning that as a mother, I can't do it all, be everywhere and do everything. That sometimes my kids are going to have to hurt and I can't fix everything for them. Sometimes their hurt is them growing and overcoming stumbling blocks.

Where church is concerned.... I have to put my family first.... Stop worrying about what others think... Right now... I am deciding on a important move that will affect our whole family where church is concerned.... *not a change of faith or religion* just wards...   My daughters need to feel loved. They need to love Young Women and to do that they need good leaders and be surrounded by good young women.  Our ward isn't giving them this... Hasn't the 7 years we have been here. The bishop in the past has asked us to be patient and tried.... but bottom line is... no one can change another person... only that person can change... and I am not teaching my children to run... I am going to give them the experience they have never had before... before they are out of Young Womens.  Being here has made them strong and they are willing to endure more.... but I am not. I want them to have what I did in YW... I want them to look forward to church... have and make great memories from girls camp to you name it.

My marriage is great... I have been thru all the stumbling blocks there.. *I HOPE*  and if not I know we can get thru anything because of where we have been and gotten thru!

I am learning to really enjoy life... love my children and the time we have and to let my children get dirty!  They can run thru those muddy puddles... and they can play and get dirty.... I want them to have fun and enjoy life while they are little. Experience all the good things....   I learning my house isn't a place to keep up, looking perfect and beautiful.. .Its OUR HOME...where we can kick off our shoes and relax... Where we are safe all together under one roof .. away from the world. WHERE WE ALL WANT TO BE :) TOGETHER! :) making grand memories and wonderful relationships with one another!

I love life... right now I am so happy inside and out. I am treasuring up these moments... this time and every learning lesson along the way!