Becoming a Gandma

 Today I became a Grandma and my husband became a Grandpa... We are going to be called Grammy K and Poppy. :)  What a day.... 2 weeks of contractions on and off.. and she finally went in on the 11 th at 2 in the morning.  She  her water was broken at 7 and she was  given an epidural at 10 and had the baby at 1:59 in the afternoon... pushing only for a half hour.

It was amazing. I can't wait to get home and download all the videos and pictures we took of this beautiful and adorable baby.  She is my name sake. Zoey Karine :) She weighted 7'14 and 19 inches long.

She has hair... wavy curly hair and its reddish :) strawberry blond. Just beautiful and it was the first thing we saw as she was crowning :)

All day I was emotional.  It is so different to watch your children give birth.  To see them hurt... it is really hard.  Then also the reality of mortal slaps you in the face and you realize you are going to be doing new territory... BECOMING A GRANDPARENT and a new phase in your life... CRAZY!!!   And to be honest scary...because .. life went so fast by as a parent.... and now a grandparent... soon I will be in a hospital wearing diapers and forgetting who I am.... not a pleasant thought...

So I have to just stop thinking like that and start enjoying the now... be excited about all the new little adventures that are going to be happening. All the cuddles and hugs....kisses and I love yous.... so neat to think I get that.

 I want to add that there is something very beautiful about watching a child come into this world. I really believe its when Heaven meets up on earth.... the veil can be thin to those with the gift and I believe that many angels attend.... the glorious day of a another child gaining a body and entering into the world :)    Like the help cross them over and watch as the child draws in that first breath of air.... claiming mortality and their beautiful blessed body they were given for this life here on earth.  
Today I felt such things or maybe I imagined it...either way... It comforted me to think that my Father, sister, brother, grandparents and many others that are in heaven... were there. :) The room FELT FULL.

I am so thankful to my Heavenly Father for the safe arrival of our beautiful Zoey and for blessing Virginia with strength to endure this crown of motherhood.  All is well...

Time on my hands

 I have been blessed with being left with my very pregnant daughter, in her time of need having her first child. I will be here for two weeks. That is a huge sacrifice for my family. My Mother has flown in to help take care of my other 7 children.  My husband has taken off several days from work to ensure my Mother has all the schedules down, which he has had to learn himself.   He has done an amazing job.
We all came down last weekend... we really thought my oldest was in labor. But she ended up being sent home from the hospital.  Poor thing that is so hard too.

When my family left us Sunday to drive back home 5 hours away...they cried... I did not expect such tears from some of them. In a way it made me feel so loved....and in another way I felt so guilty.  My son that we adopted CRIED which is huge.... I have waited 2 years for him to show more attachment to us.... in this way...he cried, and hugged me and expressed with words that he will miss me. THAT BROUGHT ME TO TEARS! Oh how thankful I am that he is connecting...that he feels my love and that he is realizing we are his family.
This TIME that I have been blessed with has been so needed and wonderful.  I have caught up on much needed rest. I have been able to read my scriptures and study them as I have strived to do without any real interruptions.... I have even been able to watch a movie and get into it.   Its been so nice....but even with all that I miss my family and wonderful rich blessed life of crazy chaos. :)

I have decided to take this time and help my daughter as much as possible. I cleaned her house yesterday from top to bottom.Litterally. :) and put dinner on. I am thinking I will stock her fridge with freezer meals.   I want to read more things of spiritual nature and spend free time wisely growing even more spiritaully and looking up parenting things....and how to better improve myself and our family. I will write down a new goal and schedule.   I am really excited to get started with this.

I know that the Lord provides for us. He always has.... and I love the faith my oldest daughter has...her out look on life and her dedication to the lord. She prays every morning and night... reads her scriptures. Her and husband run their home the way I  have strived to but they seem to do a better job with it than I do.  I am so proud of her and thankful for her.  I love all my children and just want to give them all the most important things in life.... which is to know who they are.... that they are strong...that anything is possible with the Lord by their side. I want them to grow up knowing what it means to have a family and how THEY always come first in life.....  that sacrafice and trials keep us humble and close to god.  That they make us stronger and the people HE wants and needs us to become.      As I struggle as a mother to find ways to comfort my children when they are going through trials I am finding great love and comfort as well.
Well I am going to get busy with my day. This free time is precious to me. I am thankful for it. I can sit and really ponder my life...where it is, what I want more to do with it ... how to improve  it and what I can change.    

My 14 days of I LOVE YOU!

So this year I wanted to make my husband feel special and loved every day leading up to Valentine's Day. So I came up with 14 days of love.... I made individual bags filled with little items and love notes for him to open every day. Here they are :)

                                         
This is all of it as a whole :) 

First You  Melt My Heart ... grahm crackers and chocolate and heart shaped marshmellows... I also wrote,  I LOVE YOU SMORE AND SMORE EACH DAY :)

 

 You stole a PIECE of my heart *resee pieces*

 

This one I love.... its a jar of mixed mints and mint cadies from peppermint patties/mint 3 musketeers/life savers

This is what it says if you can't read it.. Thanks for your commit-"mint" to help...Thanks for your encourage-"mint"...Thanks for your involve-"mint"...Thanks for your invest-"mint" of time...Thanks for making each day an enjoy-"mint"... Thanks for helping to create a nice environ-"mint"... Everything you have done has really “mint” a lot to me!!!

 

 

The next is a sierra mist soda and it says, " I soda think your Amazing :)"

This is a rocket and it says " Being with you is out of this world  "You and Me to the Moon"

 

 

            This is connected to 2 rolo's candies.... It says "Everyday  I want to Roll over and see your face

This one is a fishbowl if you can't tell, it says, " Valentine You O-Fish-ally have my heart"

This is a compass and chocolate covered pretzels

 

These are Hot Tomalies the candies

There are two of these I made them myself, you pick one heart and scratch it off, it has stuff under it like I will rub your feet/back/lets snuggle etc.  Attatched to one is snickers and the other is resee peanut butter cups

This is a jar of hershey HUGS AND KISSES and it says "Hoping you want lots of Hugs and Kisses tonight"

This is a thermas filled with gummy worms and it says HOOKED ON YOU :)

This is a 1000Grand candy bar stuck to this paper saying he is PRICELESS TO ME :)

 

 These are the 14 bags filled with each items.... and he gets one a day to Valentines day :)

Kids pushing Mom away

 The one thing I will NEVER get use to is.... my children pushing me away.... I know its all natural and it has to happen but it still hurts. I am just wanting to be apart of their lives..... 
I know they don't mean to hurt me either.... I am sure I did it and far worse to my own mother. I can't remember exactly what but I am sure I did.
Its just one of the things I will NEVER get use to... and look forward to when that phase is over and they want me back in :)
I hope they ALL will .
I am thankful my son is past that MOM DON'T KISS ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS THING.... he is now a big hugger in our family... always asking for hugs or willing to give one :) LOVE THAT!
Once where my oldest couldn't talk to me about things because it upset her so much to even talk about them, now she calls me and vents away... PURE BLISS to be apart of that :)
I am looking forward to the day when my other daughter will like that I take interest in what she has to say on Facebook or where ever and will be ok with me "LIKING" her page.
Another daughter is still learning to open up about insecurities.... which is hard in itself to open up about but little by little she will share them with me. I hope I am saying the right things to bring her comfort.
Another daughter.... she is happy all the time.... reads books most of the time... I just want to have a conversation with her.... Funny, my parents would of loved it if I were a book worm... I have one.... I am glad she is a reader but I would love some conversation time or attention :)  She is fun though
Its the little things that help when a heart aches... those aches aren't forever.... but its hard for me to be patient while waiting for the end of the phases....  OH MOTHERHOOD!

Reflecting on how to teach

  This last week... I have prepared myself for this Sundays lesson like I have never prepared myself before.  I am awe over the many things that came to my mind over the week that I should bring into my lesson or point out. 
This weeks lesson is on "How can I learn to see Heavenly Father’s hand in all things?"    To me that is.... GOD's Hands in my Daily Life. 
 I have found things I have looked for a zillion times ... but I was led to find them :) I have watched a movie that I felt I was led to watch that touched me so deeply...  its called The Letter Writer.    As I was trying to catch up on some rest this morning, thinking I was ready for class... done...  I could NOT fall back to sleep...for the spirit kept telling me to get up and go write down the letter in that movie and hand it out to my youth. NOT JUST MY LITTLE CLASS, ALL THE YOUTH in Sunday School.  I have always been one to listen to the spirits promptings, so I got up from my very warm bed and I went down stairs and played the movie ...finding all the spots where this letter was read... sometimes re-listening and reading what I wrote to make sure it was correct. It took me an hour to do this letter.  When I was done making some changes in the letter to fit my youth... I printed them up... here is what it looks like....  I put each youth's name after the Awesome and there was a picture of Key on the top of the letter.

Dear Amazing and Awesome ....                                                                                                                                                                                                     

 I hope that you appreciate your life and the source in which is springs. Always remember that you’re a beautiful being and gracious, that you are here for a unique purpose. I know life can be difficult, it’s easy to lose sight of things that really matter, but I trust that deep inside you know what is precious in your life.  Remember to do at least one thing every day that gives purpose to your existence. Look around for the hidden messages of beauty and truth. You can find them in every tree, every flower and every human being. WE are all connected, along for each other’s encouragement, understanding and love.  I hope you know that you are deeply loved. There are many who look up to you and find in you an example that inspires and uplifts.   Thank you for being such a good person. Ever since you were little you were off to great things.  Your parents always knew you had a special spirit about you, have the gift of making other people feeling good about themselves, of being kind, thoughtful. May the Lord bless you always.  You might sometimes feel alone in this world. You are not. Someone is watching over you and blessing your life even though at times it may not seem like it. Your happiness is the reward of the happiness you endow to others. I assure you that if you give of yourself you will receive in return the blessings of a life full of purpose and joy.  There is a balance in all things…. If you give…you will receive. Most people are too absorbed to recognize it. Life is like a mirror, who you are is reflected by those around you. You can choose who and what you want in your life. If you want good in helping people around you, be good at helping.  Your spirit is unbroken even though you have to conquer so much.  You have the strength of a lion and despite any pain or suffering you might go through in your life! Your smile is as bright as the sun and the heavens smile upon you with affection. The Love of God will follow you wherever you go and your light will shine forth through out all eternity.  A key is a symbol of your ability to unlock any door on your path to happiness, it represents a GOLDEN KEY of opportunity and potential. Choose wisely, you weren’t aware of it but this key has been with you all your life. You just haven’t learned to use it yet. Whatever you want to accomplish to do in your life you have the key to do so, it is the same key that allows you to find happiness and fulfillment in this life and with which you can bless others. Always remember this key is yours and yours alone. Whenever you find yourself blaming others for your circumstances, look at the key… It cannot be taken away from you. You alone decide which doors to open and which paths to take. This is the gift of your life and you alone hold the key to it.

Even though this letter, these words came from a movie called, “ The Letter Writer,”  I believe this letter to be true for you. I believe in YOU! I know you have blessed me and so many others just by knowing you J GO OUT AND SHINE FORTH! You have so much to offer this world. SO much TRUTH and KNOWLEDGE!   I wish I could of written this letter, but I promise you I feel these words for you from the bottom of my heart!  I believe in you, I am always here if you ever feel alone, you can always call on me.

Love your friend,

Sister Mikesell


Last week.... I handed out a paper for them to fill out so that I could get to know them all better.  There was a spot on there that asked... ARE YOU HAPPY?  and tell me something about yourself I do not know...... In several papers the answer was NO I am NOT HAPPY and I AM LONELY... that broke my heart.... these amazing youth are struggling so much in life.... 

The lesson I have prepared has a great story like conversation between God and a person... which basically points out that even on your worst days, God is there... and that maybe some things happen in your life... good or bad for a reason... that we just have to trust in the Lord to know that he does have our backs. I read it to my Husband and he had tears in his eyes :) So I think its good :) 

I haven't taught my lesson yet... but I am hoping that it touches them. That it teaches them something that they didn't think about...that I bring something new and wonderful to their lives. That I can make a difference in some way and that they know I love them.  I worked so hard on it... I am nervous about not getting it all done but I am praying that the spirit will guide us and the most important things that need to be taught and heard will be with the spirit present.

I am going to start off with having them make a list *that only they see* the list is what they do from morning to night on an ordinary day.  Then another list on what they do on Sunday from morning to night.... then I will ask them do they see a difference? If not ...they should.... I will ask do they have on their lists..*BOTH* read their scriptures, say their prayers,  share their talents, serve someone, and of coarse go to church.   I will then lead the discussion on how to recognize Heavenly Father in our lives if we don't do our part.... then share ideas on how to recognize him in their life.... some of those are to ask family members to help them find something that says he was there that day... *sometimes its hard to recognize it on our own*  how to remember it so our testimonies can grow... it doesn't have to be in a journal alone...they can use their talents... like write it down in a poem, make a song, draw it, take a picture of it or even record it by video.  Then I will explain as we recognize it... remember it ... it helps our testimonies grow and we will be quicker to recognize every time his hands are in our lives. 

I have asked several friends to share with me their testimonies of Gods hands in their lives... and they are wonderful. I wrote them out put them in envelopes and I will paste them up on a wall for the youth to pick from and read from.    I am hoping that hearing about other peoples experiences...which are all different... will help them find Gods hands in their own lives.

I know this is a crucial time in their lives when they need guidance and love and to know they are NOT alone...They are loved. Their needs are known...their prayers are heard...Their efforts are amazing and to NOT EVER GIVE UP! I hope that they feel this with all that I am... I have prepared more than this... I just hope its what they need. I feel I have been guided and directed all week. I have written down every thought that I had so I could organize it... I have done the best I can... I pray its what they need.  I feel it is. I am very excited to give each a personal letter of love. :)

Goals....

 Now that things are back on track and kids are back in school I have to get back into working out and being healthy. I need to keep loosing weight. My grandbaby is going to be born and I really want to be thinner for the pictures.

I need to make goals again.... I feel like I am walking aimlessly and not progressing in the way I should as a person if I dont have goals to work towards.

I want to make them realistic too.... I know me... if I get tired of it... if its not realistic it will only last like 3 days. So this is hard for me.  I want to shoot for the Moon and beyond but I know me.... I am not a strong enough person to stick with it or continue to try. But I need to push myself as well.... challenge myself.  Balance... isn't that the key to life?!

#1 work out again... start getting back into the swing of it. I really need to use the machines I have boughten too... like my abdoer and my rebounder.  I have others that I should use too.... I would say DO THEM EVERY DAY but I know me.. I won't and in fact that would make me do the reverse.. .so I need to work out on one of them, rotating them through out the week.

#2  I need to ready my scriptures more ... like longer... really study and get a notebook and write my thoughts... really ponder it all.... and incorporate it into my life.   I need to figure out a schedule so I can say THIS TIME IS FOR SCRIPTURES AND DO IT EVERY DAY!!!!!!

#3 I want to become even more organized.... working with one room until its done and moving onto another one.

#4  I need to get back into the habit of FHE.... sometimes my life is so full so busy and crazy... I lazy out of it because I can't keep up. I need to just say its happening

#5 This is a goal of my heart.....  I want a Friend... someone who really understands me, who wants to spend time with me.  I have tried so many friends and I have invested so much to only get my heart broken.  When I think I have found a bosom friend, they end up being NOT.... I have always been that one who invests with all I have and I need someone to invest back... so I am secretly praying for a friend.... someone to hang out with, to have girls nights outs.... to share good days and bad days with.  "I pray I find someone this year" every woman needs just one good friend.... and the ones I felt were good have moved away.

#6  I want to become a better mother..... more patient.... better at teaching and spending time with them... this includes learning to make it a habit to compliment them all more.... less criticize them.  I want to have activity bags ready for boring days or rainy days. I want their lives to be filled with love and exploration :)

#7 I need to give up COKE! I drink too much of it. I have tried to quit before and I need to do it. Finally tell SATAN NOPE YOU DON'T GOT ME HERE! Become stronger and healthier... I have to give it up! Its poison

#8 I want to be a sweeter wife.  Less jealous.... more appreciative....

#9 I want to make something every month for Christmas so I am really ready and done by the time it comes this year. :)

#10 I want to stay out of debt!!!!!!  Pay off the little debt we have and stay out. Learn to save for something and stop the instant gratification stuff

#11 I want to continue to go to the temple weekly.

#12 I want to be a better daughter... send my mother gift packages of love and cards monthly.

#13 I need to stop cussing. I say shit and damn too much. My children need a good example not a bad mouth mommy.

There ya go my list of goals... I think they are realistic. Some might happen naturally and some might take all year to get the hang of ....  Here's to a new year :)

 HAPPY NEW YEAR 2013!

  This year New Years Eve started a little differently than we planned. We ended up going in the morning to my husbands grandmother's house to check on her. We heard that she was unreachable, but the neighbor was there and she had actually fallen out of bed. It took us all morning to get her cleaned up and to have a nurse show up to tell us to take her to the hospital. Once we got to the hospital it was FOREVER waiting to see if they would keep her or not.  They did keep her... that night we came home with a new pet. A poodle, it is Grandma's dog. He is very unhealthy and I fear he won't be living with us long. His feet hurt, his ears hurt and I am pretty sure he is full of cancer, you can feel hard spots everywhere. 
MY POOR CHILDREN! We had so many fun things we wanted to do with them. We wanted to bring the new year in with games and fun... but after such a long and exhausting day we were wiped. We barely got all the teens to their dances... and as soon as we picked them up I went to bed.  I didn't even get to kiss my hubby at midnight because I had to be at the dance to pick up my kids at midnight.  So our New Year started rough....  but we survived.
 As for Grandma, it doesn't look like she will recover, they think its the start of her leaving us. So we are all preparing for that.



This holiday season we have been blessed to have my Virginia home with us. Such a precious time for she has 4 more weeks till she can have this baby, our first grandchild. :)

 

We have had a wonderful Christmas.... Todd got me a camera :) So I have been having fun with the kids doing photo shoots :) I have taken some really beautiful ones, but it helps to have beautiful people to take pictures of :)

 I still have to get several of my other children out to do this with :)

Its been nice to relax and spend quality time together :)  I have enjoyed.... we are slowly putting Christmas away and preparing for school to start again.

I have so many hopes for this new year.... some goals and plans to work on too

I have been so blessed and am so thankful for the many blessings in my life... and for our health. I can't complain. We are well provided for and I am thankful to my Heavenly Father for that my hard working husband. Happy New Year!