Working on me...

 The Lord is funny, he gets me.  I am thankful for that.  He knows I like to be needed but knows I don't want to be taken advantage of anymore..... so he has sent me a new friend in my life. She is fun and creative and we have so much in common it is really weird.  From giving birth to now.... we have kids all about the same age up to my Cally and so that makes it so nice if we want to get together we have kids that could play together.

She seems to be a real friend... which is a blessing. She wants to help me as much as I want to help her. She offered to take my son Jesse to the roller drome and I was so scared.... she insisted and I said ok. Which for me is huge... My son is really hard. ADHD and many other issues... She took him without me because I had to go help Tay audition for a musical she wanted to be in.  Jaden did go with my friend and Jesse so that is good.  After I was done with Tay I ran to the roller drome... where I found her helping Jesse to skate and being with him. She has children who are younger than Jesse and I was so surprised to see her keeping her word, that she wouldn't leave him and she didn't  till I got there. I am thankful for her friendship. Her positiveness is so refreshing...

I have needed a friend who can help me see the world in a positive light for a while.... I am usually an upbeat and positive thinking person too so its like I have been recharged.  For the longest time I have felt the Holy Ghost tell me to say hi to her or to try to be her friend but I let my fear and insecurities take over and I didn't. She too had felt like she was to talk to me.... and one day she did.... which started it all.  She emailed me and said that she knew it sounded funny but she felt strongly prompted that we should be friends..... I replied with I had felt that too and since then we have talked every day ... several times a day and hung out just as much.  We found out that we both have the same struggles and so we are now helping each other in those areas, reminding each other to read our scriptures, pray and work out together.  She is currently helping me with a quiet book that I am making for my grandbaby. And she invited me to a group of women who are doing crafts for Christmas gifts... STRAIGHT UP MY ALLEY :) And we are making our gifts for everyone this year. What a load off my back of stress.... money is not there!

Anyhow.... I am happy... she has helped me a lot by just being a real friend, not wanting so much and actually being willing to help me as much as I try to help my friends. She came over on my birthday and gave me a really pretty necklace and earing set... they were purple with a purple bag and frozen hot chocolate. She went out of her way to ask my kids what my favorite color was.... I am truly grateful for her... and her friendship and she is just as active in church as I am and its so nice to have someone who tries as hard as I do to keep the family in tune to the spirit and doing all the things that are right.  I swear she could be my twin.   I am just thankful that she came into my life.... my dearest friend moved away..... and I have missed her so much... .my other friend that lives here is just too busy with her own life to be apart of mine as much as I have tried.... and this new friend..... is what I have been needing... someone who can hang with me and crazy trauma babies.... someone who has a huge family too and gets the work involved and the financial part of it all... someone who has so much in common with me... we connect on so many levels. I have been so lonely.... and now I feel so happy.  She knows how important my children are to me and she strives in many ways the way I do.  Anyhow.... things are turning up for me.... My daughter that moved away is talking to me more and hearing she misses me helps me so much... cause I miss her beyond words.... and my other daughter in college calls me daily :) We are connecting in ways I have only dreamed of :) All my other children seem to be in a good place at this moment... I have no complaints. I am just thankful for many of my blessings......  I am excercising and trying to eat well again.... its all GOOD! :)