Today I get to go get a mama Gram. OH YEAH ME! Does anyone want to take my place? Cause I am willing to offer :) Yeah not looking forward to my boobs being smashed and all that! Nope!
Nervous as all get out... the What if's are running thru my head like no other.... what if they find that what I think is a lump is cancer? What if I have to get a needle to find out if its cancer...what if I have to have chemo... the thoughts are un-ending...can I do this? Will I do this? Why does this have to even be a challenge in life? The zillion thoughts running through my head.
Its the first time I want to hold someone's hand... and yet you really can't. I am almost depressed feeling... like numb over the whole thing. I just have to do this. I have no choice, not really. Not if I want to live or try to if its serious. I can't imagine what women go through who have cancer... I don't want to know. I pray I am not a number.... one in so many that get cancer.
I had a night mare that it was the end of the world last night. Makes sense, kinda how I feel right now.... it was really dark... I was somewhere going somewhere with a load of people, some family some not and there were dark clouds all around whatever it was we were traveling in... and animals and things were being dropped out of the sky... and I stood up and told the whole group of people I was with that we have to have HOPE. That faith wasn't fear. I actually preached to the people as if having this HOPE would make a difference and save us. I even called my daughter at college and told her the same... and I was trying to keep the peace in this place... people who were upset, I was fixing their problems. It was a strange dream. I keep thinking... is this me telling me to have HOPE? to have Faith? I felt like the end of the world in my dream... I kept thinking I don't want it to be here yet... and at the same time in my dream I was trying to tell myself I would be ok to keep positive.
Anyhow... in a few hours I go... do the thing I do not want to do and then I have to wait 7 days for the results JOY ME.. I am not good at waiting... I am a mess.
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God has heard our prayers and has blessed us so much!
Keep the Faith!
We are a family of 10 (2 parents 8 children, 3 were adopted) My oldest has married and now has a beautiful baby girl :) My husband and I have been married for 23 years. We belong to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. This blog was started when we started our process to complete our family through the blessing of adoption.
God Hears Your Prayers and Ours!
God has heard our prayers and has blessed us so much!
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Angels Are Among Us!
For those who have lost loved ones...
"And if I go, while you're still here... Know that I
live on, vibrating to a different measure-- behind a thin veil you cannot see
through. You will not see me, so you must have FAITH. I wait for the time we can
soar together again, both aware of each other, until then; live your life to its
fullest... and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart, I WILL BE
THERE."
live on, vibrating to a different measure-- behind a thin veil you cannot see
through. You will not see me, so you must have FAITH. I wait for the time we can
soar together again, both aware of each other, until then; live your life to its
fullest... and when you need me, just whisper my name in your heart, I WILL BE
THERE."
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qaulities as patience, faith, fortitude and humlity. All that we suffer and all that we endure especially if we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called children of God."
-- Orson F. Whitney
-- Orson F. Whitney
Keep the Faith!
"Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."
“As you create a home, don’t get distracted with a lot of things that have no meaning for you or your family. Don’t dwell on your failures, but think about your successes. Have joy in your home. Have joy in your children. Have joy in your husband. Be grateful for the journey.”~ Sister Hinckley
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a video a birth mom friend of mine made :) Turn off my music to listen to it :)
1 comment:
Totally unpleasant but it doesn't take that long.... I'm Catholic so we have the tradition of "offering it up" as a gift to God. I definitely have to do that.
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