My Wonderful Son :)

12 years ago on June 14th 2000, my first son was born.... :) Oh how we were so thrilled. We had waited so many years for a son.

As he has grown and made great choices like getting baptised and complete his faith in God...

I sit here and am in awe over the thought that there will be another priesthood holder in my family. :) What a blessing! As I sat and pondered this, I got really emotional. I am listening to all the people that he is asking to be apart of this special moment and blessing, and my heart ached for a moment... MY FATHER WON'T BE THERE! HE CAN'T ASK MY FATHER! What a time in our life, a very special and important moment... and my Father won't be there. How my heart ached for a moment... I called my Mom and cried... I know that he will be there in spirit..but how I wish, OH HOW I WISH that he could be here physically. How I wish I could hear his sweet voice and watch his face as he sees his grandson receive the priesthood. How proud I know he would be and I am sure is in heaven.

I am so thankful that my son is a worthy young man...with great goals that he has set for himself. He has been such a fun baby, toddler and child.... and now he will be a great young man to enjoy. :) I am excited for his future... I already miss his younger years but so enjoying the here and the now!

I am excited for Sunday, and I know I will be really emotional. I am so proud of him. I am so thankful to the Lord for him. I am so blessed to have such an amazing son.

Where much is given, much is required...

Today.... I feel short handed. I feel emotionally drained.... and at the same time.... I feel inspired and directed. Weird I know! I have all these children. They really do require so much of my time and energy. For me to sit and have a moment to think lately has been impossible. The only way I am able to type right now, is the littlest are napping and my sons are jumping...the big girls are doing something. So for a few minutes I want write down my thoughts... release some feelings and just record it all.
Having so many different personalities.... each child having different needs and requirements... each child needing disciplining in a different way as well has been a challenge for me. So much so that I have moments where I feel like I am failing... but as I was discussing with one of my children about true failure, *a teaching moment where I had to listen to my own counsel* I realized, I haven't given up yet. I haven't stopped trying or giving it my all. So I am not failing them... I just might not always be enough or I might need help.
I have been relying a lot on my Heavenly Father lately for that help. To be my venting place, to my comforter and to be my guider. Man today... I came up with two brilliant ideas on how to help bring even more peace and harmony into our home. How to help build relationships and how to add respect to that list. I am hoping at my next family home evening, I can do it. I haven't quit figured it all out but I have a plan in the process. The fact that while I was sitting and feeling totally lost on what to do or say next... the idea came to me ;) is such a blessing. Just another moment where I see the Lord is still with me and helping me as always. I am really thankful for that! With all that I am thankful!

Butterlie, Unicorn and Fairies...

Butterflies.....

Fairies.....

& Unicorns..... OH MY!

Yes this is a silly start to my post.:) But this is me! I try to keep things light and fluffy in life. I try to cheer up my friends and family with silly things and images that only brings smiles. My life has had plenty of serious moments and hardships, but who wants to be stuck there emotionally? Not me :)

Today at church I was reminded so spiritually that not everything is butterflies, unicorns, and fairies in life and that IS ok. A new sister got up and shared her testimony about her life struggles. One she deals with is having very painful headaches, so painful that she would rather give birth naturally than to suffer this pain. But she called this pain a reminder of her blessings. She stood and shared many personal things that touched me, but when she talked about her trials and of the pain she goes through, that it humbles her and she feels it has brought her closer to God, that brought tears to my eyes. I was so impressed with her testimony. How she has this life long trial that will never go away and her attitude of gratitude was powerful. I am thankful for her great example of how to be thankful, positive, so full of Gods countenance, and humble. I am sure its not been easy for her but I am thankful for her spiritual strength. She makes me be even more thankful for my own life's blessings. Another thing she shared, that I want to remember... was, " your either fasting or your starving. You are either doing the motions of a fast or you are fully invested and your scriptures are your meat and potatoes. They fill you and feed you." I loved that! I know that really has nothing to do with the topic of a fluffy life but I don't want to forget that one.

Back to my original thought.... butterflies, unicorns and fairies.... it would be so nice to have the easy life.... "or so we think" where everyone was happy and life is sweet in every way imaginable. But I know that this life is not meant to be full of happiness all the time. If we do not know the bitter we will never appreciate the sweet. If we do not know how far we can be pushed or tested we will never realize our strength. If we do not know the horrible hatred things of the world, then we would not fully appreciate the love and peace that we do have. This life is for experience, growth and learning. The life after this is our reward if we but endure this life well. I feel that this one sister who shared her testimony is enduring well. I am so thankful for her and her strength. Especially her example and her testimony. When life gets hard..... find your unicorns, butterflies and fairies... count your blessings and know that this too shall pass. That what we are given is to better us, for our own good, even if it doesn't make sense to us. That God really does have the upper hand and has you and I in mind at all times. We are never alone. He is with us an his loving angels too. I testify to that. In the name of Jesus Christ, my Savior ... Amen.

The Spirit World

I have often thought of all those I have loved and lost in this world. What it must be like for them... where they are, what they are doing... what they see. When I was at my daughters high school graduation, I felt so many of my relatives that are on the other side with me. I imagined all the people screaming and shouting for the child graduating... to be all the people who have gone before us.... cheering for us, or welcoming us through the veil. Not even through the veil... but in life. Praying with us and for us. Being there next to us when we feel so alone. Cheering us on and participating in our JOYOUS moments.

I saw many families gathered together at the graduation, in groups. Sitting together prepared to shout and cheer on that one person they came to support. I felt very over whelmed thinking about all the many UNSEEN people that were there, with those families... ready and able to do the same. My heart felt warm and my spirit felt light and I was thankful for I knew we too were not alone.

My Father died of lung cancer... he promised to always be there for every important event in my children's lives. HE has kept that promise. I have felt him so strongly at the most unexpected moments. That sweet moment of knowing... TRULY KNOWING he was there... he witnessed it... he loved me... he kept his promise.... we are still just as important to him there as we were when he was here. He continues to be with us from time to time and I know he will be around till the day we can be reunited again.

I have always taught my children since they were young that angels are among us and always with us .That some are even family that have gone before. When my mother came to visit. We talked about many wonderful family stories that were pasted down from generation to generation of just that. One is of one of my distant relatives who was a nurse and brought babies into the world. Mid wife was her real status. She delivered a thousand and she would go by horse drawn sleigh, in a wagon or on a back of a horse. Some were as close as a farm away and some were over the mountains. One night she was riding over the mountain and a lightning storm came and scared her horse. She swore that she was going to go off the mountain and die... but she looked and saw a MAN grabbing the horse reins and he led the horse back to a safe path. The thing is... there was NO MAN. We believe it was an angel. She did make it to deliver the child on the other side of the mountain too.

I know of many sacred experiences I have had that has shown me I am never alone. I feel so sad when I hear or read that someone feels ALONE. Yes this world can be hard at times and lonely even. But I know with all that I am that we are NEVER ALONE. That our Heavenly Father loves us and that we have many angels with us, we just can't always see them or feel them. Just like we can't see air that we breathe, it is there.... so are angels!

When I worry about my Mother leaving me in this life and going on to the next, I get emotional and sad. But I really try to focus on the reunion she will have. The many people who have gone before her and are waiting to embrace her. I can only imagine the beauty of it all. The pain of loosing her children disappearing for forever and holding them in her arms again. Seeing her parents, my father.... and so so many. I liken that to the day we are with Christ. What joy shall fill my heart! How wonderful it will be to have the veil lifted and all that was forgotten to be remembered. What a blessing that will be. How great our joy will be and to be able to look around and see each other in a different light than with earthly eyes. I look forward to that day...so very much for myself.

I am thankful for knowing of the truth that we are not alone. For knowing and having the gift to see through the veil and for knowing that we are so loved.

A quick catch up :)

Kalene graduated from High school... in the top 10 :) So proud of her. She lettered in band too!
My mom has been here visiting for the last 10 days and we have just laughed so much every day and have had fun! I just love having her here. I am going to miss her. She leaves tomorrow.
Virginia comes in tonight to do a quick visit with my mom and us....
I want to take a family picture with my Mom while she is here but I just haven't found the time yet. I need to so bad!
My mom has had more fun telling my kids stories from our family. Like.... her great great great grandpa who was a pioneer... settled down in Utah and the crickets came.... They ate all the wheat and destroyed every field that layed in their path. My Great x3 Grandpa had great faith.... went out to his field when they came and told the crickets... HE PAID AN HONEST TITHE, THAT THEY COULD EAT EVERYTHING EXCEPT THE WHEAT HEADS!... The next day came and he went out and said, YOU ARE DONE... LEAVE and THEY DID! LEAVING THE WHEAT HEADS ONLY! :) HE SHARED THE PROFITS WITH ALL THE OTHER NEAR BY FARMERS :)

We talked about GOGGI, my grandmother who used to peel a zillion apples and we would all sit around and take turns eating each slice she cut.... while talking .... Yesterday Mom , Kalene and I made dehydrated apples and my apple peeler broke so we sat and did it the old fashion way... thinking and talking about GOGGI :) Sure miss my Grandma!

We talked about my sister.... her death... I think I finally have an understanding exactly what happened when she died.... it was hard to talk about it... My mother and I cried like it was yesterday together.... My mother knew exactly when my sisters spirit left her body... the sacred details of that moment she shared with me... is just amazing.... the things my poor sister endured.... the pain my parents suffered... it was a tragedy... but now I know the full story.. the details I have always worried to ask about because I didn't want to hurt my parents.

we have laughed... played card games.... watched movies... gone shopping, baked and made yummy stuff together.... planned future events, discussed and remembered past events... I have loved every moment that we have shared.... and will share till she leaves our car tomorrow to get on a the plane.

I believe she has found her true match and soul mate in my Step Father WAYNE :) I am so thankful he came into her life. She has gone places and done so many wonderful things because of him. She has really lived since he came into her life. Done things I would of never thought she would try. :)
My mother still is one of the most amazing people I know and I love her like a best friend!

A Powerful Prayer

There is a scripture that I refer to often that is a prayer, it is powerful to me, it is beautiful and I find myself feeling every word very deeply by my soul. I not only feel this prayer and understand it great measure, I liken it to all that I am... from me to being a mother. *if that makes sense to you*
In 2 Nephi chapter 4 verses 28 -35.
28. Awake, my soul! No longer droop in sin. Rejoice, O my heart and give place no more for the enemy of my soul.
29. DO not anger because of mine enemies. Do not slacken my strength because of mine afflictions.
30. Rejoice, O my heart and cry unto the Lord, and say: O Lord, I will praise thee forever; yea, my soul will rejoice in thee, my God, and the rock of my salvation.
31. O Lord, wilt thou redeem my soul? Wilt thou deliver me out of the hands of mine enemies? Wilt thou make me that I may shake at the appearance of sin?
32. May the gates of hell be shut continually before me, because that my heart is broken and my spirit is contrite! O Lord, wilt thou not shut the gate of thy righteousness before me, that I may walk in the paths of the low valley, that I may be strict in the plain road!
33. O Lord, wilt thou encircle me around in the robe of thy righteousness! O Lord, wilt thou make a way for mine escape before mine enemies! Will thou make my path straight before me ! Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way - but that thou wouldest clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of my enemies.
34. O Lord, I have trusted in thee, and I will trust in thee forever. I will not put my trust in the arm of flesh; for I know that cursed is he that putteth his trust in the arm of flesh. Yea, cursed is he that putteth his trust in man or maketh flesh his arm.
35.Yea, I know that God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me, if I ask not amiss; There fore I will lift up my voice unto thee; Yea, I will cry unto thee, my God the rock of my righteousness. Behold, my voice shall forever ascend up unto thee, my rock and mine ever lasting God. AMEN.

That scriptural reference in the Book Of Mormon, just touches my soul. I feel every word of that. I can say that prayer for myself, for my parents, my husband, my children and even my friends and I can liken it unto me and all that I am or someone I love... is going through.

It is beautiful. I find great comfort in these words that were prayed for so long ago and that I find myself praying for today in these latter days. I know that Heavenly Father wants us to specifically ask for such blessings. He wants us and needs us to desire such things in our lives, in order for us receive all the blessings he has in store for us. I felt strongly that I should
post about it. I am so thankful for the scriptures and the guidance that it gives me in my life. I am thankful for the spirit I feel every time I read my scriptures and the closeness I feel to my Heavenly Father.

May we all be praying for this kind of spiritual protection and guidance/blessings in our lives.

A Interesting Day...

Yesterday turned out to be very interesting. What a day! It started Monday night. At my second daughters Honor Chord Ceremony.

I was so proud of her. She is graduating in the TOP 10 % of her class. Her being #5!!! :) I am just floored at my children's intelligence and drive!

Anyhow... I am so excited and being the PROUD MOMMA I AM, I send out this huge group text to many close friends and ONE UNCLE.

Everyone writes back congrats and their wonderful comments of love and support except my Uncle. Which I didn't think anything of till the next day when I get this text....

it said, "If you text back OK or THANKS and make me look at my phone again I'll kill you in your sleep."

That text was followed by this text, " So your kids are smart. Big deal. I hope you trip and scrape your knee."

So for the first moment after receiving these I was like..hmmm... I must of forgot the time difference and sent him the group text too late. He lives in Maryland... 2 hour time difference. So I reply to him saying I am sorry I didn't realize what time it was when I sent out my message. Didn't think anything else of it after that... the second one is my Uncle. He is a joker. He was being silly with me. That is just how he says CONGRATS... We have an interesting relationship.

So I jump on face book to find that one of my friends *that was on that group text message I sent out * had posted something that said, " SINCE WHEN DID SPAM TEXTING BECOME OK? Especially in such serious light?" (disclaimer, she said something like that can't remember her exact words)

All these people had told her to call the police and report it.

WAIT! It gets better..... So I have blonde want to be moments and YES FOR A SECOND I HAD ONE! I post and say... "WOW I got the same text but had no idea it was spam, I thought it was my Uncle."

SECONDS LATER... my phone rings... it was this friend. She asked if my Uncles number was yada yada... and I reply Yes... she takes the post down from face book and was upset over it. Not just because of what was said but that he said it to me. (I have the worlds best friends!) So I explain to her he is just old and its his way of joking. She said she texted him and got back that it was meant for his DAUGHTER? *the first one about killing*

I then realized that he hit REPLY ALL to my text and that EVERYONE OF MY FRIENDS GOT THAT MESSAGE!!!!!! YIKES!

I immediately text everyone to ignore that message it was my OLD Uncle who doesn't get texting and he has a silly personality. That it was all a joke.

Well... I guess he got several EAR FULLS by the end of the day.

To make things even funnier... my friend from Jersey didn't see my text. She sees his first text about killing you in your sleep and she CALLS HIM!

She asks, " WHO IS THIS????????" he replies... She is stunned because his last name is my maiden name and for second she was confused... she then lays into him! This is what she said...

" HOW DARE YOU TEXT ME SUCH A THREAT! I AM CONSIDERING CALLING THE POLICE ON YOU!!!!!!" His response: " MA'AM, I am so so sorry. I don't know how but so many people got that text and it was meant for my daughter."

My friend's response, " YOUR DAUGHTER? YOU TALK TO YOUR DAUGHTER LIKE THAT? WOW! Well I WILL LET THIS GO IF YOU PROMISE TO NEVER TEXT ME AGAIN!"

His response, "I won't I promise, I am going to call Verizon as soon as we get off the phone to figure this out. I am so sorry."

My friend, " WELL THIS SHOULD BE A LESSON TO YOU! YOU SHOULD NEVER TALK TO ANYONE, ESPECIALLY YOUR DAUGHTER LIKE THAT!"

the conversation ends... then she sees the second text... freaks out.. .doesn't realize it was from my UNCLE and panics while running around....thinking...."WHO KNOWS MY KIDS ARE SMART?"

then sees my text... dies laughing almost wets herself from laughing so hard and calls me!

OH MY GOSH! I haven't laughed so hard in my life. I needed that! I feel bad for my Uncle. He is a great guy. I really do love him! He is my very favorite Uncle in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD! His corky little personality always makes me smile and yesterday it gave me a great laugh and several friends a heart attack!

WHAT A DAY!