My children are all in different places and with my original 5 a long time I ago I use to leave scriptures for them to wake up to every day..... so I decided to do something like that again but this time its quotes and I am leaving them for them to find every day... just something to ponder.... hopefully a connection on how they might be feeling :)
I have realized my youngest is going to be fine... just as normal as most children...a little crazy full of energy at times but so right where she needs to be..... I think I will struggle the most with my son who is 8.. he did go thru the worst of the trauma.... and he is still healing... seems slower some days..... My other daughter who is 7 is going to be ok too..if I can just reach her emotionally on self esteem.... love.... and who to be loyal to. She would throw the family down the drain and jump for friends and so yeah...I have my work cut out but we are working on it all and slowly I do feel that they are going to be ok.....
Easter is coming. I am so excited. We will be going to see my children who are married and living near the college 5 hours away :) Can't wait to see them and my grandbaby :) It should be a great Easter....
I am not looking forward to sleeping on the floor.... and one of these days we will have to tell our kids they should give us their beds... but I really had hoped they would come to that conclusion on their own.
anyhow... these have been the thoughts and ramblings of my mind lately... crazy as it it sounds it consumes my mind some days....
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Friday, April 11, 2014
God's Hands in our lives....
I love that my daughter calls me and says she wants to share God's hands in her life.... We have all been praying that her husband would get a job... I have been pouring out my soul over worry to the Lord on this matter and yesterday he got called by 4 different job places and each wanting an interview and one hiring him on the phone.... :) He hopes to have 2 jobs by the end of today :) They so need this... and it seems like they have been just beaten down and when things look up.. something else happens... Their trials are much harder than mine ever were as a newlywed... as a mother its worries me.. How are they? Are they making it? Do they need anything.. I will ask and they say they are fine. They don't want to ask for more help... they don't want me to help because to my daughter it makes them feel like they are not adults.... or something.... even though they are parents... .and so.... when my daughter called sharing this joyful news.... I cried.... when I got off the phone I ran to my knees and thanked my Heavenly Father. I am so thankful!!!!! I just want all my children to be ok.. to have good lives where they don't struggle and are happy. I want them all healthy too....
You never stop worrying about your children... even when they grow up and leave.....
I haven't been getting my sleep at night. I swear if its not the kids its the animals. I have this huge lab.. and he is so sweet and good but his tail is strong and hits everything everywhere he goes... so at 3 am this morning he comes up and his tail is hitting all the walls and doors as he passes them... and gets me up to let him out..... and then I get back in bed and not 20 minutes later maybe even sooner.... I hear little children awake...ugh!!!!!!!! so we say.. go back to bed..... then I am almost asleep again and I hear another noise..its the dog... laying on the midway stair..he is just so big and so when he layed down it was a huge thump against the wall.. so I go to check thinking again a child is up.... and when the dog see's me.. he decided to come sleep in my room... between him and my husband BREATHING *because I am frustrated at this point* I couldn't sleep all the noise... and so my morning was shot.... I hate it when I can't sleep and being woken after fallen asleep....
anyhow.... happy to see my children are doing well. Hoping my other daughter and her husband can find a job now..... :) Then all will be right for us....
You never stop worrying about your children... even when they grow up and leave.....
I haven't been getting my sleep at night. I swear if its not the kids its the animals. I have this huge lab.. and he is so sweet and good but his tail is strong and hits everything everywhere he goes... so at 3 am this morning he comes up and his tail is hitting all the walls and doors as he passes them... and gets me up to let him out..... and then I get back in bed and not 20 minutes later maybe even sooner.... I hear little children awake...ugh!!!!!!!! so we say.. go back to bed..... then I am almost asleep again and I hear another noise..its the dog... laying on the midway stair..he is just so big and so when he layed down it was a huge thump against the wall.. so I go to check thinking again a child is up.... and when the dog see's me.. he decided to come sleep in my room... between him and my husband BREATHING *because I am frustrated at this point* I couldn't sleep all the noise... and so my morning was shot.... I hate it when I can't sleep and being woken after fallen asleep....
anyhow.... happy to see my children are doing well. Hoping my other daughter and her husband can find a job now..... :) Then all will be right for us....
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
A rough year
I am worried this year is going to be rough.... I kinda felt that way when it started and its turning out to be true..... My sister in law has cancer.... she has the most amazing attitude.... She truly shows faith that she is going to win and kick CANCERS BUTT! But every time I hear the latest findings and news...I am left with I wonder how long we really have with her... Its stage 4.. its everywhere. I also feel like when she leaves my Father in Law is just going to follow suit.... His wife died 3 years ago to cancer and now his daughter.... I can see him just giving up. you know how you hear people dying of a broken heart... It will be him.... I am not kidding.... Just trying to prepare......
I hurt for my husband...> His whole life he has tried to be close with his family ... we live here because of them... and year after year we really still feel we are not as close as we would like to be. My husband goes to visit his sister while she isn't well... He tries to have a conversation with her and she just wants to watch tv.... giving him a couple glimpses here and there and nods her head..... yes.. or acts interested.. Its times like this that breaks my heart for my husband..... He is broken that all these years living here hasn't brought us as close as we had hoped and now she is dying.
I know his pain.... I do... I have a sister who is dead and one parent as well. I know his pain all too well and this morning as we cuddled I cried for my husband... for the pain he is about to endure and feel.... The many questions of WHY? and all that is about to follow.... crazy. She is so young... with children that still need her here... and all we can do is try to have Faith that God knows what is best.....
We also are struggling with watching our children struggle in life. Just trying to get started and make it... things are so financially tight everywhere... Finding a job is a huge blessing and keeping one is even bigger.... and I want so badly to know my children who are married are all going to be ok... That they can find secure jobs and make it... THRIVE and be happy.... Right now...t hey are all struggling and it is a heavy weight on my heart and mind....
I know my husband and I never struggled so much as our children are.... We were well off newlyweds... He was already in the Navy.. making a great income. We had insurance.... we had bought our first apt... a month early and went yard selling collecting things for our home to be since we dated and knew we were meant to be.... we did that even with our children's things... buying way in advance things we wanted for our babies and children.... so when the time came we had what we needed...... We were so blessed..... I just want those same blessings for my children.
I wish I were rich.... so I could help so many struggling financially... I wish we could have our own successful company and work for ourselves hiring our children and friends who need an income.... and good job......
A lot is on my mind this morning... Sadness is in my heart.... I feel we have some trials of heart ache ahead.
I hurt for my husband...> His whole life he has tried to be close with his family ... we live here because of them... and year after year we really still feel we are not as close as we would like to be. My husband goes to visit his sister while she isn't well... He tries to have a conversation with her and she just wants to watch tv.... giving him a couple glimpses here and there and nods her head..... yes.. or acts interested.. Its times like this that breaks my heart for my husband..... He is broken that all these years living here hasn't brought us as close as we had hoped and now she is dying.
I know his pain.... I do... I have a sister who is dead and one parent as well. I know his pain all too well and this morning as we cuddled I cried for my husband... for the pain he is about to endure and feel.... The many questions of WHY? and all that is about to follow.... crazy. She is so young... with children that still need her here... and all we can do is try to have Faith that God knows what is best.....
We also are struggling with watching our children struggle in life. Just trying to get started and make it... things are so financially tight everywhere... Finding a job is a huge blessing and keeping one is even bigger.... and I want so badly to know my children who are married are all going to be ok... That they can find secure jobs and make it... THRIVE and be happy.... Right now...t hey are all struggling and it is a heavy weight on my heart and mind....
I know my husband and I never struggled so much as our children are.... We were well off newlyweds... He was already in the Navy.. making a great income. We had insurance.... we had bought our first apt... a month early and went yard selling collecting things for our home to be since we dated and knew we were meant to be.... we did that even with our children's things... buying way in advance things we wanted for our babies and children.... so when the time came we had what we needed...... We were so blessed..... I just want those same blessings for my children.
I wish I were rich.... so I could help so many struggling financially... I wish we could have our own successful company and work for ourselves hiring our children and friends who need an income.... and good job......
A lot is on my mind this morning... Sadness is in my heart.... I feel we have some trials of heart ache ahead.
Monday, April 7, 2014
General Conference April 2014
Oh how I love General Conference! I love being in my home with my children gathered around... watching Conference... hearing our leaders and prophet speak inspiring and spiritually led talks that we all need to hear. It always helps me.... I always find great direction and motivation to continue becoming a better Christ like person and doing all the things the Lord needs of me.
Here is the link if your interested in hearing all the great talks... https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2014/04?cid=HPSU040614654&lang=eng
The week before Conference, my husband and I were able to go to the temple... and there I found great peace. I always do and love it there...
While there all the people in our session were reminded to keep our covenants and the commandments with exactness.... during a prayer. I have pondered on that since... how can I be more exact with everything I strive to do.... from scripture reading, to prayer, serving others and fhe. I can see where I need to grow and do better. I am trying now to do just that...
Well in conference it sounded like the same theme.... to me anyhow... maybe because I am focused on this right now.
The Prophet talked about being true to the faith.... and being very much involved in doing the Lord's work
I loved Elder Hollands talk.. so very powerful! He talked about many things... but everything was with conviction and such spirit. He talked about how Jesus was tormented and treated badly by others, how he suffered... and yet he was always thinking of others... putting their needs first....
I want to be like that... I have several people in my life who I have to be apart of their life because we are family. And as sad as I am that family would treat me and my family as poorly as they sometimes do.... I want to be like Christ. I want to still remember its a reflection of them and I need to be Christ like.. forgive them... find the good in them and still love them. Its hard... sometimes my heart aches so.... the things they do or don't do hurts ...but this trial will make me a better person if I just continue to strive to be like Jesus.
Elder Holland talked about how the world wants an easy God... one that says its ok.. go have fun, eat drink and merry.... live whatever life style you want... just be happy.... so on and so forth... He hit the gay/lesbian part well I thought, so well that I felt compassion for those striving to live the laws of GOD and not of the world.... How hard it must be for those in the church , who know that God made man and woman to become one and no other combination. How my heart aches for those who struggle with the desire to be with the same sex ... what a trial and yet they stand strong, hopefully in holy places. How not only does the world come at them but I am sure the gay/lesbian community as well...
Elder Holland was firm... and yet so honest and loving... I love that about his talk. Its probably his nature and I am sure many of us can learn from his example. To STAND STRONG in what we KNOW to be true... no matter the cost. I feel that the times will get hard... that people will treat us differently in the near future and we will have to stand strong... that is why its important now to get our testimonies in the right place.... to know the scriptures... to have the spirit of the Lord with us... so that we may be directed at all times... in all things as we do stand as a witness of God and his principles and gospel truths.... :)
Elder Ronald Rasband's talk was a wonderful reminder of the needs of many and how we need to serve others... bearing one anothers burdens... lifting one anothers spirits..... and how we will be blessed if we do the Lord's work
88 And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.
How we have to take upon us the discipleship and be that servant to the Lord and to our brothers and sisters in the world.... I want that blessing in the scripture... to have god on my right and left side... and to have his spirit in my heart always... To have angels around me... what a blessing!
I loved Robert Hales talk on be careful who you follow... Oh how I hope that some of my friends heard that one... I am worried about some of them... they seem to be following nonsense from people who claim to have talked to ANGELS and they are using fear to sell oils and such... and my friends are caught up in it... so much that they will not hear me if I try to help them... and I might have to just distance myself from them for a while till they can see clearly.
If GOD wanted the world to know something it will be in our scriptures or told from the Prophet... if there is some specific revelation for you or your family than the leader in your home will receive such divine inspiration and revelation for your family.... its just how it works and it saddens me to see many fall away from truth and righteousness because they are longing for something in their life... Satan is surely a tricky one... ready to ensare us all.... with a little truth and a whole lot of lies... Fear is not of God either.. and I would hope that they would get that.... but I guess its their trial..and all I can do is pray for them.
Elder Hales also spoke words that reminded me of the temple session... "IF YOU LOVE ME KEEP MY COMMANDMENTS" How many of us put so much before us... .a check list of things to do... and where in that check list is scripture time, ponder time... prayer time... family time.... the things that matter the most? Service to others? I know its made me really rethink and prioritize my lists.... I hope to be better at showing Christ my love for him...
There were so many wonderful talks..I am just reviewing my notes...
Elder Claudio D. Zivic gave a wonderful talk on keeping the commandments as well and reminded us how Jesus is everything... everything we have or are able to do is because of him and how we need to remember him always.... thanking him always.... dedicating our every move and action to him.... He reminds us to repent and often.
I loved his talk and how he said let no corrupt communication erupt from our mouthes... WOW did that one hit home...I know myself .. I am not always so sweet and our children to each other at times are quit harsh... and even my husband and I in our frustrated moments of disciplining our children are quick and harsh. THERE IS A LOT OF WORK THAT NEEDS TO BE DONE IN THIS ONE AREA ALONE!
Thank heavens this life we are training to become perfect and not actually expected to be perfect... :)
Elder Russel Nelson's talk was great and along the same theme of being committed to keeping the commandments with exactness.... He said, "scriptural knowledge provides security" and I believe this statement to be true....
He reminds us that God's laws must ever be our standards. And to continue to liken our scriptures unto our lives.
We need to have courage to stand for principle and to let our faith show who we are :)
We grow line upon line and precept upon precept... and that is important to remember.
Richard Scott's talk basically said if we commit to obeying all of God's commandments than our families will be strengthened... that is a beautiful promise and I know this to be true for when our family is working hard at being Christ like and doing all we can to be good... we have more peace and harmony with in our home...its almost like being at the temple :)
There is more love too
Another talk that really hit home was Elder Michael John U. Teh's ... he said something that really struck me.... he shared a touching story of woman who was poor and she stated... "SHE ACCEPTS ALL THINGS THE LORD HAS HER GO THRU.. in trials... and ALL THAT HE ASKS HER TO DO" that one... was A WOW to me... how many times have I complained in my times of trials? TOO MANY! I need to be more willing to accept my trials.... and do it with gratitude and do it with humility and happiness... it can always be worse.... and my trials (some are hard for me) are for the bettering of ME! :) Its the refiners fire :) I have to keep this one in mind.....
He also touched on our treasures on earth verses the ones in heaven... and which are we focusing on... It was really good food for thought stuff :)
Elder D. Todd Christofferson ... can I just say I LOVE THIS MAN!!! his talks always inspire me.... He said something I never really thought about before...its so true but I just never thought about Christ like this...... THAT NO MAN TOOK HIS LIFE... HE LAID IT DOWN! I just was in awe over that thought... .its true... Christ prayed... asked God 3 times... did he have to go thru with this... then he said they will be done... and he ALLOWED THE PEOPLE TO DO ALL THAT THEY DID... and HE was the one who finally said to his father to take him...he had enough... he could of endured more... *not that I would of wanted that...* but he also didn't have to allow those people to take him... to sacrifice him or do all that they did.... he had the power to stop them and chose to not.... that made me see things differently. It was something I have contemplated since he said it.
Then another favorite.. *I think I love them all* President Dieter F. Uchtdorf He talked about GRATITUDE!!!!!
" We can be GRATEFUL ; Set a side the bottle of bitterness and instead lift up the bottle of gratitude. We can find a purifying drink of healing, peace and understanding"
that prompted me to immediately write a post on FB about how grateful I am for the many people in my life who have taught me many things.... and have helped me *either good or bad* in becoming the person I am today.... and his talk also reminded us to bring back GRATITUDE PRAYERS at night for family prayers... so that is what we will do. :)
HE too reminded us all to be thankful in our trials and to not MURMUR against God... especially during those times... that the many people in the scriptures are great examples of NOT MURMURING against God during such times of trial... to be thankful... and to praise God.... I hope to actually one day be able to do this... it sounds hard...but we all must be able to do this for we are God's children created in his image with great potential :)
Elder Ballard encouraged us to read PREACH MY GOSPEL as a family... so for FHE I might try to incorporate it... I haven't yet even looked at this book but I will now.
Jean A. Stevens said a beautiful thing ... that I loved... and want to remember ... THE GOSPEL IS WINGS ... IT CARRIES US! I love that... so many people feel overwhelmed by doing all the things the Lord expects us to do... along with daily life .. work... family and extra curricular activities.... and they seem to put everything else first.. because we are in the world.. and naturally we just do the day to day living stuff...but if we remember the Lord and his things come first...the blessings will be great!!!!!!!!
Another Talk that said a lot of the theme of Obey Gods Commandments and do the things we have to do... was Bishops Gary Stevensons talk. He reminded us this life is the time to prepare to meet God... Run the Race that we may obtain the Prize.... To have self discipline.... and OBEY
Elder Bednar's talk was great... and talked about our daily loads.... and how they can help us become better even they seem heavy... and he encouraged us to study the Saviors Atonement.
The Prophet reminded us all to treat others with kindness and the most important commandment out there is to LOVE THEY GOD and TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER :)
Those were the ones that impressed me the most.. .but there were many more... :) If you did not hear it... or see it... I encourage you to go to LDS.ORG and watch General Conference :) It is a great blessing to have these great leaders direct our paths on the straight and narrow! I know all the things that they shared to be true. I might not do it all perfectly but I am striving to do them... and hopefully with exactness :)
Here is the link if your interested in hearing all the great talks... https://www.lds.org/general-conference/sessions/2014/04?cid=HPSU040614654&lang=eng
The week before Conference, my husband and I were able to go to the temple... and there I found great peace. I always do and love it there...
While there all the people in our session were reminded to keep our covenants and the commandments with exactness.... during a prayer. I have pondered on that since... how can I be more exact with everything I strive to do.... from scripture reading, to prayer, serving others and fhe. I can see where I need to grow and do better. I am trying now to do just that...
Well in conference it sounded like the same theme.... to me anyhow... maybe because I am focused on this right now.
The Prophet talked about being true to the faith.... and being very much involved in doing the Lord's work
I loved Elder Hollands talk.. so very powerful! He talked about many things... but everything was with conviction and such spirit. He talked about how Jesus was tormented and treated badly by others, how he suffered... and yet he was always thinking of others... putting their needs first....
I want to be like that... I have several people in my life who I have to be apart of their life because we are family. And as sad as I am that family would treat me and my family as poorly as they sometimes do.... I want to be like Christ. I want to still remember its a reflection of them and I need to be Christ like.. forgive them... find the good in them and still love them. Its hard... sometimes my heart aches so.... the things they do or don't do hurts ...but this trial will make me a better person if I just continue to strive to be like Jesus.
Elder Holland talked about how the world wants an easy God... one that says its ok.. go have fun, eat drink and merry.... live whatever life style you want... just be happy.... so on and so forth... He hit the gay/lesbian part well I thought, so well that I felt compassion for those striving to live the laws of GOD and not of the world.... How hard it must be for those in the church , who know that God made man and woman to become one and no other combination. How my heart aches for those who struggle with the desire to be with the same sex ... what a trial and yet they stand strong, hopefully in holy places. How not only does the world come at them but I am sure the gay/lesbian community as well...
Elder Holland was firm... and yet so honest and loving... I love that about his talk. Its probably his nature and I am sure many of us can learn from his example. To STAND STRONG in what we KNOW to be true... no matter the cost. I feel that the times will get hard... that people will treat us differently in the near future and we will have to stand strong... that is why its important now to get our testimonies in the right place.... to know the scriptures... to have the spirit of the Lord with us... so that we may be directed at all times... in all things as we do stand as a witness of God and his principles and gospel truths.... :)
Elder Ronald Rasband's talk was a wonderful reminder of the needs of many and how we need to serve others... bearing one anothers burdens... lifting one anothers spirits..... and how we will be blessed if we do the Lord's work
Doctrine and Covenants 84:88
that prompted me to immediately write a post on FB about how grateful I am for the many people in my life who have taught me many things.... and have helped me *either good or bad* in becoming the person I am today.... and his talk also reminded us to bring back GRATITUDE PRAYERS at night for family prayers... so that is what we will do. :)
HE too reminded us all to be thankful in our trials and to not MURMUR against God... especially during those times... that the many people in the scriptures are great examples of NOT MURMURING against God during such times of trial... to be thankful... and to praise God.... I hope to actually one day be able to do this... it sounds hard...but we all must be able to do this for we are God's children created in his image with great potential :)
Elder Ballard encouraged us to read PREACH MY GOSPEL as a family... so for FHE I might try to incorporate it... I haven't yet even looked at this book but I will now.
Jean A. Stevens said a beautiful thing ... that I loved... and want to remember ... THE GOSPEL IS WINGS ... IT CARRIES US! I love that... so many people feel overwhelmed by doing all the things the Lord expects us to do... along with daily life .. work... family and extra curricular activities.... and they seem to put everything else first.. because we are in the world.. and naturally we just do the day to day living stuff...but if we remember the Lord and his things come first...the blessings will be great!!!!!!!!
Another Talk that said a lot of the theme of Obey Gods Commandments and do the things we have to do... was Bishops Gary Stevensons talk. He reminded us this life is the time to prepare to meet God... Run the Race that we may obtain the Prize.... To have self discipline.... and OBEY
Elder Bednar's talk was great... and talked about our daily loads.... and how they can help us become better even they seem heavy... and he encouraged us to study the Saviors Atonement.
The Prophet reminded us all to treat others with kindness and the most important commandment out there is to LOVE THEY GOD and TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER :)
Those were the ones that impressed me the most.. .but there were many more... :) If you did not hear it... or see it... I encourage you to go to LDS.ORG and watch General Conference :) It is a great blessing to have these great leaders direct our paths on the straight and narrow! I know all the things that they shared to be true. I might not do it all perfectly but I am striving to do them... and hopefully with exactness :)
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