Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Another Blessing.....

So my Daughter, her husband and her baby :) *MY NAMESAKE* came home for a visit.... a much needed visit... words were not exchanged and we really didn't even discuss what had happened.....  It took a week for everyone to feel "MORE COMFY" with one another in my opinion.... but by the time they left... things were better. MUCH BETTER! Not where they were but that is ok...time may or may not fix that.... it is what it is.. I feel like I can be ok now... Like I can smile... have no heavy guilt on my shoulders.... its all going to be ok. It was wonderful to see and hold my grandbaby girl! She is just beautiful! So fun! MY JOY! :) *ONE OF * and I have missed her. We all gave her so much time, love and attention. They left today.... Which was hard.... it was really hard.... but now I have to accept when my kids grow up they are suppose to leave home... start their own life... I just pray one day we will all live close by :) I want to be very much apart of each of my children's lives and grandbabies. for some reason the blogger is not allowing me to down load pictures right now ...so I will try again later....
Tonight my other daughter comes home and with her fiancĂ©. While they are here we will be busy preparing for her wedding, making invites and so on.... this is going to be a crazy week..... my emotions are all over the place. I am very tired.  Our whole family caught the flu this last weekend and I think I am still recovering from that.... I feel energy less...... 

I am thankful for this last visit... for my other kids coming home... for our roof over our head.... for our health, children and animals... for my husbands job... for all that we are blessed with which is much.  For the many people who help us raise our children and help us make it when we are concerned.  I am just counting my blessings!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Working on me...

 The Lord is funny, he gets me.  I am thankful for that.  He knows I like to be needed but knows I don't want to be taken advantage of anymore..... so he has sent me a new friend in my life. She is fun and creative and we have so much in common it is really weird.  From giving birth to now.... we have kids all about the same age up to my Cally and so that makes it so nice if we want to get together we have kids that could play together.

She seems to be a real friend... which is a blessing. She wants to help me as much as I want to help her. She offered to take my son Jesse to the roller drome and I was so scared.... she insisted and I said ok. Which for me is huge... My son is really hard. ADHD and many other issues... She took him without me because I had to go help Tay audition for a musical she wanted to be in.  Jaden did go with my friend and Jesse so that is good.  After I was done with Tay I ran to the roller drome... where I found her helping Jesse to skate and being with him. She has children who are younger than Jesse and I was so surprised to see her keeping her word, that she wouldn't leave him and she didn't  till I got there. I am thankful for her friendship. Her positiveness is so refreshing...

I have needed a friend who can help me see the world in a positive light for a while.... I am usually an upbeat and positive thinking person too so its like I have been recharged.  For the longest time I have felt the Holy Ghost tell me to say hi to her or to try to be her friend but I let my fear and insecurities take over and I didn't. She too had felt like she was to talk to me.... and one day she did.... which started it all.  She emailed me and said that she knew it sounded funny but she felt strongly prompted that we should be friends..... I replied with I had felt that too and since then we have talked every day ... several times a day and hung out just as much.  We found out that we both have the same struggles and so we are now helping each other in those areas, reminding each other to read our scriptures, pray and work out together.  She is currently helping me with a quiet book that I am making for my grandbaby. And she invited me to a group of women who are doing crafts for Christmas gifts... STRAIGHT UP MY ALLEY :) And we are making our gifts for everyone this year. What a load off my back of stress.... money is not there!

Anyhow.... I am happy... she has helped me a lot by just being a real friend, not wanting so much and actually being willing to help me as much as I try to help my friends. She came over on my birthday and gave me a really pretty necklace and earing set... they were purple with a purple bag and frozen hot chocolate. She went out of her way to ask my kids what my favorite color was.... I am truly grateful for her... and her friendship and she is just as active in church as I am and its so nice to have someone who tries as hard as I do to keep the family in tune to the spirit and doing all the things that are right.  I swear she could be my twin.   I am just thankful that she came into my life.... my dearest friend moved away..... and I have missed her so much... .my other friend that lives here is just too busy with her own life to be apart of mine as much as I have tried.... and this new friend..... is what I have been needing... someone who can hang with me and crazy trauma babies.... someone who has a huge family too and gets the work involved and the financial part of it all... someone who has so much in common with me... we connect on so many levels. I have been so lonely.... and now I feel so happy.  She knows how important my children are to me and she strives in many ways the way I do.  Anyhow.... things are turning up for me.... My daughter that moved away is talking to me more and hearing she misses me helps me so much... cause I miss her beyond words.... and my other daughter in college calls me daily :) We are connecting in ways I have only dreamed of :) All my other children seem to be in a good place at this moment... I have no complaints. I am just thankful for many of my blessings......  I am excercising and trying to eat well again.... its all GOOD! :)